The Window of the Soul

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The window washers are coming today and soon I will see clearly from the inside out.  Now if I can just clean up the of the window of my mind, I will see clearly from the outside in.  Once in a while if I’m not paying close attention, things can get a little murky in here.

Sometimes, when I have a bit of spare time, I enjoy peeking through the windows of the minds of other bloggers, especially those who share their innermost thoughts, feelings, challenges, struggles, and insecurities.  Sometimes the view through the windows of others provides a clearer reflection of myself.

Bloggers tend to tell the truth about themselves, about what they’re thinking and feeling.  Their honesty is refreshing, and sheds a light in the darkness.  In finding light in others, I find light within myself.

One of the most profound aspects of my education as a spiritual seeker was my training as a facilitator.  True service, we were taught, lies in healing oneself first in order to help others—healing the unhealed healer.  Thus, we became both students and teachers to one another, working together toward healing the parts of ourselves that were the obstacles to inner peace.

In the process, we discovered that no one is immune from the machinations of a mind ruled by the ego.  We learned that we are all subject to the aspect of ourselves that would have us believe that we are unworthy, undeserving, and unlovable.  We learned that there is great healing in the willingness to share the depths of one’s being in the safety of a trusted confidant.  We learned that the more we are able to see into the soul of another, the more there is to love.

I am no stranger to the battle between love and fear.  Why do we hesitate to share our inner truth with another?  It all about fear.  Fear of embarrassment, of being judged, misperceived, misunderstood, flawed, fear that the truth will somehow reveal the insecure, unlovable parts of the self that we do not wish to acknowledge to ourselves or to others.  The bottom line?  It is a fear of loss of love.

My greatest lessons in life were learned in the intense six-month facilitator training where as both student and teacher, I discovered that the willingness of another to share her deepest and most personal aspects of her being drew me closer in compassion and love, because in the other person, I could see my own struggle to overcome the parts of myself that I perceived as unlovable.

In spite of all of my spiritual education and training, I still find that I fall prey to the tricks of the ego; the window of my soul get foggy and I lose sight of who I am.  The return trip to sanity requires only that I sit and be still, find the quiet in my Soul, ask for help, and remember that love is the Windex that will make the window of my Soul sparkle.

Note:  The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. (newwavesoflight.org or NWOL.us).

Fixing What Isn’t Broken

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There are some pretty powerful energies swirling around in the galaxy these days, have you noticed?  It feels to me as if we’re living in the middle of a tornado, with all that is known and familiar being torn asunder.  To call unsettling would be an understatement, wouldn’t you say?

Extreme energies shake us up and upend us from the outside in, and the inside out. They rattle our foundation; they make me realize that there is not a lot that I can do about a lot, but I can do a lot about a little.  I can’t fix the world, but I can fix my head.

Every so often while tripping blithely through my days, I am stopped in my tracks by the blinding light of a warning sign that flashes across my forehead and alerts me that there is a glitch in my operating system that needs immediate attention.  Ugh.  Really?  Again?

Apparently, the Universe and I have something in common.  We’re both trying to shake off the dross of old, worn out, destructive, counter-productive energies to make room for a shiny new existence.  There doesn’t appear to be much that I can do to fix what needs fixing on a global level—the dysfunctional government, racial injustice, a pandemic, self-serving politicians, melting ice caps, the national debt—you know—the big stuff.

The most I can do is take responsibility for myself and manage my own energies as best I can, and be vigilant about taking whatever steps are necessary to fix the stuff that needs fixing in my own world—mostly, my own head.  It’s not always fun, but it is always certainly worth it.

Oh but wait—maybe I’m adding energy to the problems of the world by thinking of it as broken.  Maybe we just need some reorganization, readjustment, some correction, reevaluation, some tender loving care.  Maybe we just need to see the world differently.  Well, I can do that.  While I’m at it, I give myself a little tender loving care too.

I always take comfort in the words of the horoscope writers who often remind us that it is necessary to tear down in order to rebuild.  On both global and personal levels, we are being torn asunder and shaken to our foundation.  But have faith!  The roller coaster ride will come to an end and we will emerge safely, wipe our brows with relief, and stare in wonder at our triumphant victory over fear.

We will make it through the turmoil of these times by turning within to find our safety, and trusting the presence of loving wisdom from unseen Wise Ones to make smooth our way to new beginnings.  If all else fails, we need only ask for help.

Note:  The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. (newwavesoflight.org or NWOL.us).

Can I Quit Now?

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I’m trying to talk myself out of thinking that I need another day off.  The little kid in me thinks that it’s recess time again.  I mean, come on—I just took a day off two days ago.  I keep wondering if maybe it’s time to retire the daily blogging routine and launch into my hummingbird act, zipping around to extract the juicy essence out of the next flower.

I remember a similar attitude many years ago when I reached a point after three months on a job of saying, “Okay, I’m done.  I’ve learned all I need to learn, done everything I need to do, been there, done that, I’m bored—time to quit and move on.”

The hasty response from the voice in my head was, “So what?  Now, can you stay and find a way to make it interesting?”  Sigh.  In keeping with my resolve to hang in there to learn what I must, I stayed for another five years and became a very creative, successful salesperson.  The hardest part of the curriculum was learning how to negotiate my way through the roller coaster highs and lows of working for a crazy lady whose assistants turned over at the speed of light.  What a ride!

My past experience in the workaday world includes both powerful, ego building jobs and humbling ego busters. Humble  No matter the form, each experience provided an incredibly rich opportunity to learn what there was to learn, to make the best of the worst.

Sometimes the lessons were obvious.  Sometimes not.  Sometimes it takes time for revelation to happen.

My varied jobs throughout my career have been some of my very best life teachers.  Blogging—though not a paying gig—is my current job.  So, yes, okay—I’ll stay and do my best to make it interesting, because I’m not done yet.  And by the way, my current boss is a whole lot easier to work for than the crazy lady with the runaway assistants.

Is it time to quit yet?  No, but recess is okay once in a while, too.  Just not today.

Just Call Me Scarlett

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This morning, I was inspired by a post about racism by a fellow blogger.  My intention was to make it the subject of today’s blog, but soon realized that without benefit of a good night’s sleep, I wouldn’t give it the justice that it deserves.

There’s always tomorrow, right Scarlett?  If I close eyes, poof, problem will go away.  What problem?  Is there a problem?

No, it won’t.  It just hides out for a century or two, and explodes in a fury when provoked.

Benjamin Franklin said, “Justice will not be served until those who are unaffected are as outraged as those who are.”

On the surface, I appear to be one of the unaffected ones, all snug and cozy in my white world of privilege, yet appearances deceive.  There is not a human on the planet who is not affected one way or another, because beneath the appearance of separation, we are all one.  When one suffers, we all suffer.

We have brought the past with us into the present, because we have carried our old attitudes of racial intolerance with us into today, yesterday’s future.  Here we are, living right here on Planet Earth, plantation Tara divided up into different rent districts, yet still enmeshed in our old ways nonetheless.  I feel as if part of me is living in Scarlett O’Hara’s skin, spoiled, white, rich, incognizant of the suffering around me.

Injustice, racism, hatred, and intolerance will not be welcome residents of the new fuure.

We need to open our eyes, wake up, and make a conscious decision to create a better way.  It really is up to us to decide what our future will be, because truly, our history is burning to the ground and there will be neither a past to return to, nor a roadmap to the future.  We’ll be living in a do-it-yourself society created by the imagining our own minds.    It will behoove us to pay close attention to what we are creating.  Just as there will be no return to normal, there will be no return to yesterday.

Like Scarlett, we don’t know what’s coming our way in the days ahead, but whatever it is, we can gird out loins, face the future with fierce determination, and swear that history will not repeat itself.  Our familiar foundation may burn to the ground, but once the embers cool, we will rebuild.  I am outraged.  Today, I am putting on my activist hat and marching forward to join the crusade to create to a new and better future.

Scarlett O’Hara’s personality embodies a mind-boggling array of qualities and characteristics.  She is strong, belligerent, self-centered, courageous, insecure, intelligent, self-serving, vain, resilient, strong willed, manipulative opportunistic, and is fueled by a fierce determination to thrive and survive.

I am going to give my activist self a name befitting all of the characteristics an activist should have.  If I were to create a list of those qualities, they would paint a portrait of Scarlett.  The lesson that she teaches is that we can learn to never give up. We can always find a way to survive because tomorrow is another day.

I have reached the boiling point of outrage.  For all her human flaws, Scarlett has what it takes to gird her loins, gather her resources and build anew.  She’ll never give up.  For all her human flaws and shortcomings, she has what it takes..  We all do.  Right on, girl.

Just call me Scarlett.

Oops—looks like I just wrote what I was going to put off until tomorrow.  Well, tomorrow is another day.

Thanks, Michelle.  Here

Note:  The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. (newwavesoflight.org or NWOL.us).

The Legacy of George Floyd

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Perhaps when life assignments were being handed out, George Floyd raised his hand for a Save the World mission.  Or perhaps he was simply another unfortunate victim of racism, ignorance, and injustice, in the wrong place at the wrong time.  Either way, his tragic death has given us the profound gift of awakening, and that makes him a hero.

His death sparked the fire of outrage that has blazed across the nation and spread across the world in sympathy and unification.  It has opened our eyes to an awareness that we have a choice about whether we wish to turn to violence, destruction, and fear to make a point, or whether we will join as one and use our voice in peaceful, quiet protest against injustice, to open our eyes to see that there is a better way.  What an amazing contrast.

Last night in Louisville, strangers linked arms and joined as one to create a human shield to protect a lone police officer in danger from angry protesters.  Total strangers, black, white, hispanics, risked their own safety and broke from the crowd to help and protect the “enemy”.   These courageous guardians join George Floyd as heroes.

This demonstration of kindness and humanity by strangers on behalf of another shines light on the fact that there is a chink in the armor of fear that creates an opening through which the light of love may emerge and give rise to an opportunity for the world to see through different eyes.  The light beaming through the crack gives rise to the hope that consciousness is rising, and that soon the tide of protests will turn away from violence toward peace.

Though this man, along with so many others in the past, died needlessly, his death is not without meaning, for it shows us a picture of what a peaceful transformation looks like.  It invites us to hold our government accountable to its citizens for actions and inactions, justice and injustice, to use our voice as one humanity to insist on finding a better way.

Last night in a dream, I observed a man standing knee deep in a lake.  He was staring down at his feet, awed by the sight of a carpet of gold as far as the eye could see glistening beneath him.  Instead of  running off in a frentic search for a bucket and shovel to scoop up the gold, he simply stood quietly enjoying the gift of the beauty that surrounded him.

Perhaps such a dream is nothing more than the figment of a wishful imagination.  Perhaps it represents an exaggerated version of the new world that we are hearing so much about these days.  I like to think of it as a picture of where we are going.  I like to hope that we are on our way to living the dream of a new world in which the reasons for protests over injustice no longer exist, where peace and harmony rule the day,  I like to think that the senseless death of this man is the catalyst that will move us toward that day.

The greater our ability to focus on the goodness and beauty surrounding us, the greater our awareness that we are capable of choosing our future.  The legacy of George Floyd’s sacrifice gives new meaning and purpose to the importance of our decisions that we make, and open our eyes to our choices.

The world needs hope.  Please spread the legacy, share on Facebook, retweet, pass along to friends, send love and light to help stamp out fear.

To resurrect a mantra from the 60’s, make love, not war.

Waging a War Against Fear

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Fear is a little scary, have you noticed?  Teddy Roosevelt was right when he said, “We have nothing to fear but fear itself.”  Fear is scary.  So today, I want to talk about fear, just as way of trying to talk myself out of it.  We teach what we need to learn.

A few weeks ago, I tentatively tiptoed into a brand new world of spiritual activism. (here)  I’m not sure which was scarier—doing it, or thinking about doing it.  Either way, I gathered the courage to stick my toe in the water, and happily, it is still attached to the end of my foot.  Somewhere between then and now, I morphed into full-blown advocate of stamping out fear, my own included.

It feels to me as if we are living in apocalyptic times, but in my version of the apocalypse, there is total destruction, a final ending from which there is no return, no redemption.  My view may be flawed, of course, but like all others, I see my reality through the mirror of my own perception.

We are simultaneously living through a pandemic and an experience that seems apocalyptic.  There are no guideposts to help us find our way safely through to the other side.  If we are be victorious, we must build an army of strong warriors to forge the way and fight the fight, because we are facing the challenge of a lifetime in a fierce battle between good and evil.

Therein lies my mission, folks.  I’m on a crusade to recruit fellow warriors who are united in a common purpose to stamp out fear.  We need your help in winning the war between good and evil.  That’s it, plain and simple.  “Simple,” you may ask?  “A pandemic, an apocalypse, the challenge of a lifetime?’  Really?   Yes, really.  Is just a matter of choice.

Regardless of one’s personal belief or nonbelief, faith, or spiritual tradition, we are a family of one and we are all in this together.  In a world of one, every life matters.  Every thought, feeling, and emotion is written in the family album and makes its mark upon future generations.  The legacy that we leave to those who come after us will be determined by the decisions that we make today.

Think about it.  Light workers talk a lot about the power love and light, but often fail to mention the power of fear, of how it undermines the best of intentions.  Through ignorance and a lack of awareness of the power of fear, we will lose the battle.

It is up to each and every one to decide whether we will allow the impact of the news to swallow us in a sea of despair, or decide instead to seek the safety, security, and strength that lives deep within us.  We must do what we must to prevent fear from overpowering our lives.

Regardless of one’s personal belief or nonbelief, faith, or spiritual tradition, we are a family of one and we are all in this together.  In a world of one, every life matters.  Every thought, feeling, and emotion is written in the family album and will make its mark upon future generations.  The legacy that we leave to those who come after us will be determined by the decisions that we make today.

Spiritual warriors fight on the side of right, light, and love.  When just one family member makes a conscious decision to join forces against fear, evil and darkness, the world changes for the better.  I invite you—implore you—to become a force to win the war.

Where to begin?  Stop watching the news.  Go on social media and join groups focused on all things positive, uplifting, spiritual.  Pray for guidance.  Meditate.  Listen with your heart rather than with your head.  Find like-minded friends and support one another in staying positive.  Stand strong against fear.  Reach out.  Uplift others.  Find the light.  BE the light.

We are warriors of light and we will win.  Are you with us?

Note:  The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. (newwavesoflight.org or NWOL.us).

 

Glitz, Glamor, and Humility

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Have you ever wondered what it might be like to take a temporary tour of someone else’s brain to see what it’s like to live in there?  I do.  This notion came to me as the result of once writing a list of people that I admired and noting the specific qualities about them that I would like to develop within myself.  There were many names listed, but the only one that I remember is Grace Kelly, the lovely screen star turned real-life American princess of Monaco, the icon of perfection.  I admired her grace, elegance, and beauty.

Today’s list has only two names, and when put together in the same sentence, seem absolutely ludicrous because on the surface they appear to be the pinnacle of contrast: Dolly Parton and the Dalai Lama.  Dolly Parton, the worldly, glitzy glamorous entertainer, and His Holiness, the Dalai Lama, humble spiritual leader of Buddhism and political leader of Tibet.  The very thought that there is any commonality between them makes me want to giggle.

Dally has been quoted as saying, “It takes a lot of money to look this cheap.”  Who doesn’t love Dolly?   She’s smart, talented, unbelievably generous, utterly adorable, and has a heart of gold.  The Dalai Lama is—well, he’s the Dalai Lama.  I have never met him, but I know those who have and they report that His Holiness has an impish sense of humor and is quick to laugh at himself.  There is something totally lovable about those who have the ability to poke fun at themselves.

Dolly is full of sparkles and spangles, big hair, eyelashes, and bedazzled fingernails.  The Dalai Lama is a simple monk who wears only robes of saffron and maroon.  Somewhere between the sparkle and spirituality lies a commonality that cannot be denied.  Beneath the external appearance, there is a profound inner beauty, wisdom, strength, courage, intelligence, kindness, compassion, generosity of spirit, and a concern for the health and well-being of humanity.

Both offer a life of service simply by their presence in the world, by the very state of their being—Dolly by entertaining us with her considerable gifts and talents, and the Dalai Lama by his dedicated life of spiritual leadership and service to his country and to humanity.  And yet at the same time, both are still human.  Like them, we must find a balance between our persona and our soul, and deal with all aspects of our humanness.  Both present us with a portrait of possibilities about who we are and how we present ourselves in the world, and how we walk around in our heads.

These icons inspire me to strive to embody the qualities in them that I admire the most.   They make me want to recognize and acknowledge the best within myself and let go of all that is not.  For me, it’s humility, compassion, kindness, generosity of spirit, self-acceptance, fearlessness, and humor to add a bit of lightheartedness to the mix.   Which reminds me—my own unbedazzled fingernails were part of the inspiration for this blog, but that’s a story for another day.

Today, I would like to invite you to think about the people you admire, and what qualities they embody that you might like to add to your personal storehouse of ideals.  The power of imagination is miraculous—if you can dream it, you can be it.  If there are any qualities that you would like to adopt as a model to shape a new behavior for yourself, start dreaming!

I also invite and challenge you to inspire others by sharing your comments in the section below.

Note:  The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. (newwavesoflight.org or NWOL.us).

The Gateway to a New World

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Troubled times of crisis bring changes that can affect us mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually—changes that can jostle us out of our comfort zones.  Yesterday a friend reminded me about a life-altering dream that I wrote about years ago and I think that it might be an appropriate time to share it again.  Fair warning though . . . it is about 400 words longer than my usual blog size.  And it begins . . .

Today I am reminded of a dream that I had many years ago, a dream so powerful that it provided me with the courage and energy that I needed in order to make a gigantic leap from one chapter of my life into the next. I feel moved to tell this story today in honor of those who are struggling with life circumstances that they wish to change, and who may benefit by being reminded that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

In my dream, I am walking toward a bridge, and want to cross, but there is a closed gate. I use this as an excuse to tell myself that I cannot cross because the gate is locked and is blocking my way. Instinctively I know that this bridge will take me to my future, but I am afraid to leave my past and move on. I am afraid of what I might find, that my future may be worse than my past.

Feeling a great sense of relief, I turn to walk away.  As I do, I hear a voice that says, “Oh, but it is not locked. All you need to do is open the gate and walk through.” My excuse has vanished and fear clutches my heart. I do not want to go. I do not want to risk what I might find on the other side of the gate, on the other end of the bridge.

I am at a painful transition point in my life, in the midst of wondering how I will ever manage to find the courage I need to leave my husband of many years, and move from the West Coast back to the comfort of my roots in the east. I want to leave, but I can’t. I’m stuck. I lack the courage to move on with my life. I’m in the sunset years of middle age without the resources to sustain myself for tomorrow and forever. It is a frightening scenario. I am paralyzed with fear.

The persistent voice urges me to open the gate and step onto the bridge. With trembling hand, I lift the latch and walk through the opening. The gate closes behind me, and I look ahead at the vast expanse of space that separates me from the certain present to the uncertain future. I want to turn back but somehow, it no longer seems to be an option.

With great reluctance, I swallow my fear and put one foot ahead of the other as I start my journey across the bridge to greet my future. At the halfway point, I stop and realize again that I am again paralyzed by fear, unable to move one way or the other. I imagine myself living the rest of my life firmly rooted in the middle of that bridge, somewhere between the worlds of the past and the future.

Mentally, I review my options. The gate has closed behind me and I am not ready to face what awaits me. I can stand stuck on the bridge forever with one foot in the past and the other in the future. Or I can jump.

No, tempting though it is, jumping is not an option. It is not a viable means of escape. I turn toward the closed gate and much to my surprise, it is now open. Behind it stand a group of my friends, all smiling and waving to me, as if to wish me well and send me off with Godspeed and good wishes. I feel a lump in my throat as I realize that I must once and for all say goodbye to a piece of my past that had served as my painful comfort zone for so many years.

I turn toward the future at the other end of the bridge, and there is no gate. Another group of my dear friends await me, beckoning to me, encouraging me, anxious to welcome me home with open arms. With a mixture of sadness and joy, with a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes, I place one foot in front of the other and move forward into my future.

I reach the end of the bridge, the beginning of my new present, and joy begins to slowly seep through the sadness to fill the hole in my heart that was left behind in the past.

Today I look back with gratitude because my painful past is behind me, and I have moved on into an optimistic and brighter future, one that had been hidden from me behind a door that I did not want to open.

Crossing takes courage, commitment, and profound willingness. It isn’t always easy, but it is always worth it. All of the goodness and sweetness in life thrives in the happy atmosphere of a satisfied self. It is always waiting to be claimed, right there in front of eyes willing to see.

I guess that sometimes we just have to be willing to go through the brambles in order to enjoy the sweet nectar of life.  And so to all those who struggle, to all those who wish to open the gate and cross the bridge, Godspeed and good wishes. Amazing gifts await you on the other side. Focus fiercely on the light at the end of the tunnel, and joy will be the ultimate reward.

The Donut Hole is Closed

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This morning I parked myself in my Lazygirl with an ominous sense of quiet dread that mid-afternoon might arrive before I even started writing today’s blog.  What shall I write?  What can I talk about?  Has the well run dry?  I sit.  I wait.  I listen.  Nothing.

An unsettling thought silently creeps in.  I’m staring down into the donut hole again.  Somehow, I’ve slipped into uh-oh territory without realizing it.  I wake up, look around, and here I am again, like it or not.  How did I get here without my permission?   I have no idea.  All I know is that I don’t like it.

It might have been a gradual slip that occurred while I wasn’t paying attention.  I may have inadvertently allowed myself to dip into the sneaky, dark inner recesses of my mind that takes great pleasure in undermining me, that distracts me from my path and purpose.  I might have been listening to the wrong voice again.  Yep.  I might have done that.  Note to self:  Be vigilant.

The light goes on and I realize—oh.  This is what I write about today.  I’m back now, with the opposite problem.  There is so much to say in 600 words or less that I don’t know where to begin.  Or end.

I could talk about lights that go on in the dark, or about the importance of developing an up-close and personal relationship with one’s inner self, or about having a sense of knowingness that all is well, or of faith, guidance, or grace, of awareness, or of being woke, as they say these days—I’m not quite sure what that means, but I guess it’s a good thing.

Out of all of it, what has been the most important aspect for me is developing an inner relationship with my soul, the part of myself, that loves me as I am, supports and guides me, that supplies grist for the writing mill, and above all else, redirects my attention back to my path and purpose when I lose sight of it, when I am at risk of tumbling headfirst down the donut hole.

In the midst of the world crisis in which we are living, there are donut holes everywhere I look.  They come in all sizes, shapes, and forms, and their name is fear.  They involve us personally, and they involve the world in general.  If we allow it, we’ll all find ourselves clumped together in a heap at the bottom of the hole.

But wait!  Before sinking down into the hole, stop and think for a minute think about how powerful you are.  Think about the fact that there is something within you that contains the wisdom of the ages.  Think about your ability to turn on the light within yourself to lift yourself out of the darkness, and in the process, light the way for others.

For a brief moment this morning, I forgot who I was and found myself sitting alone in the dark fretting about the subject of today’s blog.  Now, as I come to an end, I am reminded that there is within me, a voice of wisdom that is always there for me, offering the quiet assurance that there is nothing that I need because I have everything, and that all I must do to hear it is sit down, be still, and listen.  There is no crisis that is too big for the power within.

Note:  The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. (newwavesoflight.org or NWOL.us).

It’s All In How You See It

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It’s a brand new day on which to write another page of my life.  What will be written today, I wonder?  Who will show up on the page?  Will Julia be lighthearted and funny today?  Will she be serious and introspective?  Will she be a little self-deprecating, or slightly irreverent?  Or maybe check all of the above?  Always a mystery, always a surprise, ever an opportunity to sit back and watch as the daily script of my life plays itself out.

Today I am aware that there are multitudes of personalities crashing around inside clamoring for attention.  Me. ME.  No, ME!!  The committee in my head is busy at work jostling for position.  It’s a circus in here.  The jugglers and the clowns are duking it out for top billing and the jugglers are losing.  It’s hard to keep juggling while duking it out.

Last night, one of my dear friends called to share a few thoughts about Voices.  She loves me.  She thinks I’m wonderful.  She thinks that sometimes my writing fails to express the me that she sees, and that upsets her because she believes that I am showing the world a picture does not match her view of me.  She wants me to shine, to show the best of myself to the world, to show myself in a favorable light.  I’m fine being in it warts and all, if it helps anyone else.

Her comments sent me off on yet another inner quest in search of motive and purpose.  Why do I write?  Who am I writing for?  Am I afraid of vulnerability?  How do I feel about being judged, or misjudged?  How am I being perceived, or misperceived?  Does it matter to me?  Do I care what others think?  If so, why?

What a gift to have a friend who loves me enough to tell me what she really thinks.

Oh, but wait.  Have I interpreted her words correctly?  Did I get it right?  The only way I will get an accurate answer is to ask her.  My perception of her comments is strictly that: my perception.  Perhaps one or both of us might be wrong.  Sometimes the windows through which we view life might get a little foggy and benefit by a bit of Windex.

Here’s the bottom-line question to myself.  Will I let the perceived images and impressions of others stop me, from writing, or from telling my truth?   Will I let the perceptions and interpretations of others change the way I write?   Or the things I say about myself?  Or allow my vulnerabilities to tempt me to go into hiding?  No, I think not.

I had a little chat with myself about that, and conclude that whatever turns up on the page is okay with me.  And whatever anyone thinks is none of my business.  So, what is it today?  Is it lighthearted and funny?  Serious and introspective?   Or maybe a little self-deprecating, or slightly irreverent?  Or check all of the above?  What do you think?

Whatever it is, it didn’t quite turn out the way I expected, but that’s just part of the mystery.  Always a surprise, ever an opportunity to sit back and watch the daily script play itself out.  We are the writers, producers, directors, and actors of each new day.  We are the ones who make it up as we go, and we’re the ones who see it through the eyes of our own inner vision.  I don’t know about you, but my script has a happy ending.

Note:  The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. (newwavesoflight.org or NWOL.us).