Give Us This Day Our Daily Blog

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Every morning I nestle down with my coffee and trusty laptop to start the day by hoping and praying that the Voices du jour will just show up on the page with little or no effort from me.  Sometimes it works that way, and sometimes it doesn’t.  Why is that, I wonder?

Perhaps it is a mirror of my life reflected in the experiences that proved easy—finding the perfect home, job, roommate at the perfect time—and those that were difficult, like marriages and finances.  Occasionally, there were times in my life when I was stopped dead in my tracks from moving in a direction that I thought I wanted to go.  I look back with gratitude for those aborted missions, for in hindsight I can see that they would have proven devastatingly painful had I tried to force the issue and succeeded in my efforts.

Day after day as I sit down with my coffee and laptop, I ask myself why I have made this commitment to publish Voices every day.  I drown in an ocean of answers that flood my brain and threaten to drag me down into the undertow of fear and confusion.  Then suddenly, I am catapulted to the surface long enough to see the sunlight and catch a breath of willingness and courage to carry on, regardless of how uplifting or difficult the effort might be.

Even now, in the midst of a patch of fear and confusion, my heart beats with joy at the thought of how much there is to be gained.  I have agreed to enter an institute of higher learning where the question of why will be answered.  It will take time, it will take patience, it will take courage and willingness.

I have no idea where the path will lead but I am looking forward to the journey.  I suspect that there will be an ocean full of lessons, challenges, questioning, tests, frustrations, joys, and eternal why questions, but one day I will be able to look back in hindsight and say, “Oh.  That’s why.”

I would enjoy having some traveling companions along the way and would be delighted if you would  join me for a bird’s eye view of what goes on in the world of a serious Truth seeker in my practice of listening for the quiet whispers of the soul.  And I would love hearing your thoughts and musings as you travel with me.  Please share!

Meanwhile, I fully intend work hard and be the best student that I can be.  As always, it will be good for me to remember that it’s not about the destination, but rather about the journey.

Such an adventure!  Y’all wanna come along for the ride?

Note:  The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. (newwavesoflight.org or NWOL.us).

The Road to Somewhere

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The thing that amazes me about this daily writing gig is that it starts as nothing and ends up as something.  Sit in chair, computer on lap, fingers on keys, nothing.  Here we go again, what now?  Sigh.  Sometimes it feels like a mighty struggle, and sometimes fingers fly and the thing just writes itself.  I prefer the latter, but today feels more like a struggle.

Why is that, I wonder?  I start off headed in one direction and end up wandering down a path that leads to an unknown destination.  It helps to have a goal in mind lest I find myself traveling blindly down a road toward an end that I did not seek to find.  But hey—maybe that’s not always a bad thing.  Maybe it was meant to be, who knows?

Come to think of it, my life has been a lot like that.  Kind of a go-with-the-flow, seat-of-the-pants adventure.  It is comforting to know that whatever happens and wherever I land, there is always good news, for there is experience to be gained and lessons to be learned.  Classroom Earth offers an amazing curriculum, perfectly timed and tailored to suit each individual need.  No road traveled is a waste because eventually it will lead back to the destination, even if the destination may seem obscure at any given time.  Sort of like today’s gig.  I’ll get there eventually, even if I don’t exactly know where is.  All I need is just a little faith.

If I had a goal it would help.  What might that be?  Hmmm.  How about this?  How about feeling really good about pushing the publish button?  How about feeling that it doesn’t have to be perfect, and that however it turns out, it’s all okay?  How about letting it just be what it is without judging it, or myself, or caring what anybody thinks of it?  Well that would be pretty awesome, right?

Indeed.  Have you considered the lessons that you are learning as you fulfill your daily writing commitment?

Well kind of and sort of, but not really.  Not thoroughly.  I know they’re there, but maybe that’s a topic for another day.

Would you care to share about your experience of writing today?

Sure.  It was a struggle at first.  But after several starts and stops, it got easier.  It just sort of flowed.  Again, a lot like my entire life.  It’s not always easy but it sure is worth it.

When do you think that it became easier?

About the time when I gave up on my little self and turned it over to You.

How will you feel today when you push the pubish button?

Pretty darned good, I think.  Thank you.

It is Our pleasure indeed.  We know that it takes great courage serve others by your willingness to share from the heart and be who you are.  We love you and We thank you.

My gratitude to You as always, and as a way of saying thank you, I shall push the publish button and feel really good about it.  Ta dah!

Note:  The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. (newwavesoflight.org or NWOL.us).  

What Do You Believe?

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“We are never more than a belief away from our greatest love, deepest healing, and most profound miracles.” – Gregg Braden

Good morning my dear Friends.

I’m slipping already!  Only eleven days into my new Voices gig and already I want to give up.  When will the reluctance go away—or will it?   What is this resistance, anyway?  Can we talk about that?  I mean, I guess it all boils down to self-doubt, again, right?  As much as I’d like to think that I have my act together, apparently, I don’t, and that’s hard to admit to myself.  Rats!  I feel as if I have been given a mission-impossible assignment that I’m not comfortable with.  It brings up issues about how others see me, and how I see myself.  I get that others think of me is none of my business, but what about what I think of me?  I’m the one who has to live with myself.  When does this merry-go-round of self-judgment end?  When can I get off?  What do you want from me?

We want your joy and your happiness.  We want you to love what you are doing.  We do not ask you to do anything that will make you feel unhappy or uncomfortable.  We simply offer ideas, suggestions, and opportunities—“assignments” as you like to call them—that will move you closer to your heart’s desire.  Whether or not you choose to accept them is entirely up to you.  If you feel that something you have chosen to do is too much for you in the moment, you are free to change your mind, but in so doing, we encourage you to do so without self-recrimination.  We wish to remind you of guidance that you received many years ago when you were struggling with a decision about whether or not to leave a job in which you were miserable.  Do you remember what that guidance was?

Absolutely.  It left a lifelong impression.  “If you can stay and be happy, then stay, for there are many profound lessons to be learned.  If, on the other hand, you stay and cannot be happy, then, by all means leave, for to stay in a place where you are not happy is not beneficial to your or for anyone else.” 

And?

I made a decision in favor of my heart’s desires and stayed for another five years.

So basically, you shifted your belief system from seeing your job as a miserable experience into thinking of it as an opportunity to take another step forward on the ladder of evolution, correct?

Yes.  Eye upon the donut and not upon the hole.

And the donut?

The donut was the long-term benefit of hanging in there in spite of the difficulties.

And the hole?

The killer pavement pounding, the crazy boss, the unreasonable demands.

Are you willing to apply the same guidance that you received so many years ago to the daily writing and publishing of Voices?

I can do anything one day at a time because by the inch it’s a cinch.  Self-doubt is just another role, another part I’m playing—a character that isn’t real but simply a story made up in the mind of some scriptwriter to create an illusion of insanity.

I am not the character.  I am the actor playing a part.  And you know what?  I really am quite sane, in spite of any appearances to the contrary!  At least that’s the story that I’m telling myself for the moment.

It’s all about belief, right?

Yes.  It is absolutely all about belief, and if it helps any, We want you to know that in spite of what you or anyone else thinks about you, We believe in you and We love you.

Note:  The beautiful image and meme are courtesy of New Waves of Light (nwol.us).

Follow Your Heart Home

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This morning  I found myself asking why I have suddenly decided to renew a commitment to write a daily blog.  As I sort through the myriad of answers, I discover that yet again I experience some of the same-old, same-old hitches in my git-along that I thought (hoped) were long gone.  Guess not.  An intertwined mixture of altruistic and egotistic reasons drift by.  I don’t always like what I see, but if I can see it, I can change it.  Again.  Sigh.  I thought I already had.

This morning as I sat struggling with today’s blog and asking myself the eternal “why” question I pondered whether or not my efforts are worth it.  It was just about then that I received validation in the form of an email telling me that someone had just pushed the “follow” button on Voices in my Head.  Ah.  Maybe the effort is worth the effort after all.  In case you are wondering, Christian, that was you.  Thank you.

Part of my wondering process brought to mind another question—or maybe more of a concern.  Is a daily blog too much?  Does it clog up an already-clogged inbox and incite one to delete, delete, delete?  Egotistically, of course, I’d love it if everyone would read and hang on to every word I write.  Realistically, however, that ain’t never gonna happen and understandably so, because there is not a blog in the world that will appeal to everyone, most especially the type of which I write.

I speak to you from the heart because I know that beneath the skin, we are all one in spite of the appearance of our differences.  And yet in spite of our many varieties, inside we are part of the same family, brothers and sisters living together in the vast universe that we call home.  We need to take care of each other, and we need to take care of our home.

I guess that I just answered my own question.  Yes, it’s worth the effort because you all are my family and I love you.  I want the best for you.  I want you to love yourself as much as I love you.  Ah.  There’s the altruistic part.  That’s the part of myself that I love the most.

As you navigate your way through this strange and baffling time in which we live, I hope that you know that you are loved and supported by a myriad of people in the world who carry a torch to light your path and help you find your way through the dark to your true home.

Follow the light and it will lead you to boundless love and irrepressible joy.

Love and blessings to all!

Note:  The beautiful image and meme above are courtesy of New Waves of Light (nwol.us).

In Search of Truth

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My current favorite pandemic meme came straight from of jaws of Facebook and suggests that perhaps God is sending us all to our rooms to give us time to consider what we’ve done.

Oh my.  Well that could be a scary thought.

Oh?  And why is that?

Well, duh.  It could bring up all sorts of hidden stuff like guilt, and what I did wrong, and what I didn’t do that I should have, and what I did that I shouldn’t have.  You know stuff like that.

That is true.  And would that be such a bad thing?

Well it wouldn’t be very much of a comfort.  I mean, after all, who wants to see the parts and pieces of themselves that they’ve been hiding from for a lifetime?

Ah. Perhaps you speak of the ego, the personality, the “small” self of the individual that feels disconnected from the larger Self.  And speaking of disconnection, We sense that you have allowed yourself to drift off into the world of ego and are considering the impact of today’s writing upon the reader.

Oops.  You would be correct.

May we remind you that your task is to simply write?  There is no need for you to judge the words, nor how they may be perceived by those who read them.

Thank you.  But it is still a little tempting to get a bit squirrely about whether or not I’ll be considered nuts.

We understand.  And again, We remind you that what others think of you is irrelevant, for they will see you through the lens of their own perspective.  We know that remnants of self-doubt occasionally rise up and play a role in your actions, choices, and decisions, and clearly, We see that this is one such occasion.  We applaud the progress that you have made thus far in releasing this obstacle that occasionally stands in the way of your peace of mind, and for the courage it takes for your willingness to be transparent.  Under these circumstances it is natural then, that a sense of hesitancy still exists.

Again, you would be correct.  But I’ll get over it.  Today for the first time since the pandemic lock-down, there is a bit of structure to my day and I need to get on the move.  But I promised myself that I would blog every day, and today, this is it.  How do I feel about it?  I don’t know.  But I’ll push the publish button anyway, and let the chips fall where they may.  There are lessons to be learned in every situation, and I’m happy to learn mine, no matter now comfortable or uncomfortable they may be.

Thanks Pandemic for this opportunity to stop and consider what I have done.  Oh—and to love and forgive myself for whatever it is that I think I may have done wrong.

Happy Easter everyone.  May we rise up together into a glorious new beginning!

PS:  If you are dazed and confused by what you just read (if in fact you even made it this far), it may be because you missed the last one or two blogs.  Reading them will put this one in context.

Note:  The beautiful image and meme are courtesy of New Waves of Light (NWOL.us).

 

Listening to the Whispers

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Well it’s another day, I’m back, and for me that’s quite an accomplishment.  I seem to have a history of making these insanely impulsive promises to myself in moments of expanded consciousness only to welsh on myself soon thereafter.  It’s maddening, really.  And depressing.

Just yesterday, for example, I stuck my neck out and made a commitment to sit myself down every day and write a blog.  While I was at it I blared it out loud not just to myself but also to you, whoever you are, who is reading this self-confession right now.  It is no surprise then that today I awoke after a sleepless night of worrying about whether I’ll pull it off, or if I’ll have anything to say, or if I’ll welsh on myself yet again.  It prompts me to ask myself the question, “OMG—What have I done?”

Enter self-doubt.  What am I going to do?  What am I going to write?  How am I going to fill up the blank space of a white screen with anything worth saying or reading?  It transports me right back to that day decades ago when I asked myself the same questions and heard the words, “It doesn’t matter.  Just write.”  So I did.  And I loved doing it.  It was exhilarating.

Why did I stop?  That question boiled down to a one-word answer.  Fear.  Fear of what?  Success?  Failure?  Embarrassment?  Self-exposure?  Check all of the above?  Whatever it was, it stopped me dead in my tracks and the fruits of those many long hours of writing ended up in the jaws of the neighborhood trash truck.

Well that was then and this is now, and I’m happy to report that I’m a lot whole older and wiser than I was then and now I have reached a point in life where none of the old self-doubts matter much anymore.  Hallelujah!  Free at last!  What a feeling!

Somewhere between now and a rather sleepless night of worry about how I would manage to honor this impulsive, brash recommitment to daily writing and publishing, I felt an inner nudge of encouragement that said, “You can do it.  Just do it.”  Ahh—the gentle whisper of the Voice.

So here I am again, back at a keyboard facing a blank screen, but this time, I’m not the least bit concerned about what anyone might think.  Somewhere deep within I know that finally, finally, I am doing what I am supposed to be doing not just for myself, but also for anyone else who has ever struggled with some of the myriad of obstacles that stand in the way of their realization of joy and happiness.

It’s not just about writing.  It’s so much more than that.  It’s about the will and desire to move out from behind the shadow of the ego and into the light of Truth that lies within.  It is about planting seeds of hope and spreading inspiration and encouraging to my brothers and sisters in this world to have faith that in spite of appearances, everything is going to be all right.  Truly, it will.

That said, I bid farewell for today with a promise that I will be back again tomorrow and hope that I will see you then.  Before I go though, I must ask myself a question or two.

Did I get it right?  Is it perfect?  Does it need to be perfect?  Does it even matter?  No.  The only thing that really matters is that today I listened to the whispers of the Voice within and did what I am supposed to do.  What about you?  Are you listening for the whispers that have the answers to the questions of your heart?  Is there something that you can do for yourself today that will make you feel really good about yourself when you go to bed tonight?  If not today, then perhaps tomorrow?  

Till we meet again, I wish you many blessings of love and peace.

Note:  The beautiful image and meme above are courtesy of New Waves of Light (nwol.us).

A New Day is Dawning

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Today as I was scrambling around in my head trying to make sense out of the contents of my mind, it dawned on me that I am currently long on self-doubt and procrastination and short on purpose, perseverance, and action.  As a “shut-in” along with the rest of the world during this historic pandemic, there is not much to do now except to sit down and look within to see where I can make a few in-flight corrections.

As I sit and stare at my current state of mind, I am reminded of a time many years ago when, during a time of meditation, I was given a set of instructions.

“Make a commitment to write!”

“Write what?” I asked?  “Anything!” came the response.

Let the dialog begin!  Apparently, it is no accident that this blog is titled “Voices in my Head”.

After days of resistance and repeated cajoling from whoever or whatever that Voice is, I gave in and sat down in front of a keyboard and stared at a blank piece of paper and wrote anything.  Astes erwoi 9 hhta the cow jumped over the moon.

After many hours of cows and moons, there emerged a writing adventure called Conversations with Myself.  Conversations was a journal, a daily dialogue betwixt me, myself, and I, and the committee in my head that vied for power over who was to be in control.  It was often a fascinating dialogue.

The writing was intensely personal and self-revealing, written with the hope that perhaps the revelation of my personal journey and inner battle with myself could help, uplift, and inspire others who shared similar struggles to make their way easier.

Sometimes I would muster up the courage to show it to a trusted friend or two.  Always the response was encouraging and positive, but when I sent it out to one publisher it was rejected.  After that, I gave up and Conversations made its way into a carton that was buried deep within the recesses of a closet and my mind, along with any delusions of thinking that my various voices and mind wanderings would ever serve as a tool for helping others like myself.  Eventually it was sucked into the jaws of a passing trash truck and was lost and gone forever.  Fear became the winner in that fray.

Decades have passed since those days and yet sometimes I still do battle with myself over one thing or another.  Today it’s about not living up to my own potential.  There is not a soul alive on the planet who is not born with certain gifts and talents.  I know that I am a writer and I am not using that gift to the fullest extent possible.  So, today in the midst of this pandemic, my game plan is to dust off my writing skills and just do it.  No more hiding out in the closet for me!  If only one person gains benefit from the various voices in my head, then I can cross “live up to potential” off my list, at least in one small area of my life.

Today is a new day.  It is the perfect time to begin again with an updated purpose and refreshed commitment to resume Conversations.  From past experience I know that sometimes my commitments are strong and powerful and sometimes they’re a little shaky.  If I’m not back tomorrow, I’m going to need a few prayers.  All help gratefully accepted.

Meanwhile, I ask you to consider that the old will be gone forever, and invite you to let the promise of a New Age blossom in your heart and spark your imagination to create a vision of how you would like the world to be when this is all over.  Together we can make it so.

Please be well in heart, mind, body, and spirit.

With love from me and the cacophony of voices in my head, Julia

(Photo and meme courtesy of New Waves of Light (nwol.us).  Please feel free to share.

 

 

 

Dear God,

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Photo by Carl Attard on Pexels.com

Dear God,

I don’t know how You did it, but thank you for closing the world and sending us home to the quiet of our own hearts for a spell.  Thank you for giving us and our precious planet Earth a time to allow Your light and love to heal our wounds.  What an amazing and miraculous gift for humanity and our Earth home—an opportunity to shut down and reboot, to start anew with a fresh perspective.

I know that there are many who will experience undue suffering and hardship, and I pray that they will be sustained in faith by Your love and by the kindness and compassion of family, friends, and strangers.

Thank you for opening our hearts to one another, and for the awareness that we are a family of one and are given a choice to decide between an attitude of love or fear.  Thank you that we are learning to recognize the destructive power of fear and help us choose the soothing, healing balm of love instead.  Thank you for miracles.

With an overflowing love and gratitude that my heart can scarcely hold,

Your dearly devoted daughter,

Julia

 

It’s About Time

AC1C6000-D68D-486D-BFFD-1C8712309839.jpegLord have mercy me I’m doing my very first blog and putting it out there for all the world to see. I haven’t a clue about what I’m doing and I’m scaring myself stupid, but what the heck. What’s the worst thing that can happen? I think the game plan is to quit agonizing over whether it’s perfect, and just dive in and do it. It feels like something akin to stepping out of an airplane at 10,000 feet. I can do it, but that first step is a gonna be a whipdoozie.

When I was 29, a palm reader told me that I should write. “Write what?” I asked? “Anything,” she said. Huh. Never thought of myself as a writer. Okay, fine, so I’ll write. Write what, I asked myself. Children’s books seem like a good place to start. Easy peazy, right? Well, maybe not so much . . .

So I focused my energies on acquiring the necessary accoutrements that would make a great writer out of me. Desktop computers were not yet a gleam in the eye of Bill Gates, so I had to bite the bullet and settle for a Selectric typewriter. It was way better than candlelight and an inkwell, I suppose and at least the keys didn’t get stuck together, but still . . ..

Set-up mission accomplished, I was ready.  I parked myself back in my little blue meditation chair and awaited the inspiration that was surely in there somewhere. Yeah, but where? My trusty typewriter was growing cobwebs while I played the waiting game.  Many months—or maybe even a year or so—passed by, and then one day I heard a compelling voice in my head command, “Get up, go sit down at your desk and write.” Bossy voice!

Again there was that pesky question, and again I asked myself, “Write what?” I dallied in my cozy little corner in a state of major resistance for a while, until finally against my will, something propelled me up and out of my comfort zone, hurled me into to my office, and plopped me down at my desk in front of my typewriter. Oh no—now what?

The voice again. “Put your fingers on the keys and just start typing.”

Type what?

Anything. The alphabet. It doesn’t matter. Just start typing.

So I started typing and I haven’t stopped since. Decades later after reams of typewritten pages, newsletters, a book and more journals that I can count, the voice returns and nags yet again. This time it is with a one-word command:  BLOG.

WHAT? NO! I don’t want to!

Why not?

Because it’s a lot like work. I don’t have a clue about how to start a blog. What if nobody reads it? Worse, what if somebody I know reads it and doesn’t like it? What if I sound like a raving lunatic in need of a one-way ticket to the nearest funny farm? Furthermore, who’d want to read anything that I wrote? What’s the point? What makes me think that I have something to say that is any different or better than what anyone else wiser and cleverer has already written?

What’s different you ask? What’s different is that this is your story and it is unique. Everyone has a story, but you are the only voice that can tell yours. Every story matters. Every story is different. Every life holds value and offers gifts to those willing to hear, willing to listen. Every story is of great benefit to at least one someone else. If your story finds its way into the hands or heart of just that one, if it benefits just one life, will have been worth the effort?

Your job is to use your voice and not concern yourself with the opinions of others. The only outcome that matters is the completion of the work that you came here to do. Do you wish to reaffirm your commitment to your spiritual path and purpose? If so, it is time to take that first step, jump out of the plane, and free fall joyfully through your fears with faith enough to know that you are safe and supported even though appearances would have you believe that you are surely headed toward a crash landing.

Okay fine. I get it. It’s about time to quit wasting time and get on with it. After all, I’m not 29 anymore.  And I’m not getting any younger, either. It’s definitely about time.  Bossy voice.

Deep breath in — Geronimooooooo . . . YIKES!   Wheeee . . .

You’re welcome.