The Donut Hole is Closed


This morning I parked myself in my Lazygirl with an ominous sense of quiet dread that mid-afternoon might arrive before I even started writing today’s blog.  What shall I write?  What can I talk about?  Has the well run dry?  I sit.  I wait.  I listen.  Nothing.

An unsettling thought silently creeps in.  I’m staring down into the donut hole again.  Somehow, I’ve slipped into uh-oh territory without realizing it.  I wake up, look around, and here I am again, like it or not.  How did I get here without my permission?   I have no idea.  All I know is that I don’t like it.

It might have been a gradual slip that occurred while I wasn’t paying attention.  I may have inadvertently allowed myself to dip into the sneaky, dark inner recesses of my mind that takes great pleasure in undermining me, that distracts me from my path and purpose.  I might have been listening to the wrong voice again.  Yep.  I might have done that.  Note to self:  Be vigilant.

The light goes on and I realize—oh.  This is what I write about today.  I’m back now, with the opposite problem.  There is so much to say in 600 words or less that I don’t know where to begin.  Or end.

I could talk about lights that go on in the dark, or about the importance of developing an up-close and personal relationship with one’s inner self, or about having a sense of knowingness that all is well, or of faith, guidance, or grace, of awareness, or of being woke, as they say these days—I’m not quite sure what that means, but I guess it’s a good thing.

Out of all of it, what has been the most important aspect for me is developing an inner relationship with my soul, the part of myself, that loves me as I am, supports and guides me, that supplies grist for the writing mill, and above all else, redirects my attention back to my path and purpose when I lose sight of it, when I am at risk of tumbling headfirst down the donut hole.

In the midst of the world crisis in which we are living, there are donut holes everywhere I look.  They come in all sizes, shapes, and forms, and their name is fear.  They involve us personally, and they involve the world in general.  If we allow it, we’ll all find ourselves clumped together in a heap at the bottom of the hole.

But wait!  Before sinking down into the hole, stop and think for a minute think about how powerful you are.  Think about the fact that there is something within you that contains the wisdom of the ages.  Think about your ability to turn on the light within yourself to lift yourself out of the darkness, and in the process, light the way for others.

For a brief moment this morning, I forgot who I was and found myself sitting alone in the dark fretting about the subject of today’s blog.  Now, as I come to an end, I am reminded that there is within me, a voice of wisdom that is always there for me, offering the quiet assurance that there is nothing that I need because I have everything, and that all I must do to hear it is sit down, be still, and listen.  There is no crisis that is too big for the power within.

Note:  The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. ( or

Tell Me What You Really Think


It’s a brand new day on which to write another page of my life.  What will be written today, I wonder?  Who will show up on the page?  Will Julia be lighthearted and funny today?  Will she be serious and introspective?  Will she be a little self-deprecating, or slightly irreverent?  Or maybe check all of the above?  Always a mystery, always a surprise, ever an opportunity to sit back and watch as the daily script of my life plays itself out.

Today I am aware that there are multitudes of personalities crashing around inside clamoring for attention.  Me. ME.  No, ME!!  The committee in my head is busy at work jostling for position.  It’s a circus in here.  The jugglers and the clowns are duking it out for top billing and the jugglers are losing.  It’s hard to keep juggling while duking it out.

Last night, one of my dear friends called to share a few thoughts about Voices.  She loves me.  She thinks I’m wonderful.  She thinks that sometimes my writing fails to express the me that she sees, and that upsets her because she believes that I am showing the world a picture does not match her view of me.  She wants me to shine, to show the best of myself to the world, to show myself in a favorable light.  I’m fine being in it warts and all, if it helps anyone else.

Her comments sent me off on yet another inner quest in search of motive and purpose.  Why do I write?  Who am I writing for?  Am I afraid of vulnerability?  How do I feel about being judged, or misjudged?  How am I being perceived, or misperceived?  Does it matter to me?  Do I care what others think?  If so, why?

What a gift to have a friend who loves me enough to tell me what she really thinks.

Oh, but wait.  Have I interpreted her words correctly?  Did I get it right?  The only way I will get an accurate answer is to ask her.  My perception of her comments is strictly that: my perception.  Perhaps one or both of us might be wrong.  Sometimes the windows through which we view life might get a little foggy and benefit by a bit of Windex.

Here’s the bottom-line question to myself.  Will I let the perceived images and impressions of others stop me, from writing, or from telling my truth?   Will I let the perceptions and interpretations of others change the way I write?   Or the things I say about myself?  Or allow my vulnerabilities to tempt me to go into hiding?  No, I think not.

I had a little chat with myself about that, and conclude that whatever turns up on the page is okay with me.  And whatever anyone thinks is none of my business.  So, what is it today?  Is it lighthearted and funny?  Serious and introspective?   Or maybe a little self-deprecating, or slightly irreverent?  Or check all of the above?  What do you think?

Whatever it is, it didn’t quite turn out the way I expected, but that’s just part of the mystery.  Always a surprise, ever an opportunity to sit back and watch the daily script play itself out.  We are the writers, producers, directors, and actors of each new day.  We are the ones who make it up as we go, and we’re the ones who see it through the eyes of our own inner vision.  I don’t know about you, but my script has a happy ending.

Note:  The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. ( or

Dusting Off What Truly Matters


I read that clothing sales are down and pajama sales are up.  Small wonder.  A life in the day of a pandemic—wait—what day is it today?   Time and waistlines are partners in expansion.

This week has brought me a case of lethargy complete with days that roll on by at both the crawl of a turtle and the speed of light.  Is that even possible?  I get up, arm myself with my coveted cup of coffee, park myself in my Lazygirl, and suck my thumb for a while until the caffeine kicks in.  I contemplate, meditate, then write the blog du jour and from there, it becomes a downhill slide.

All of my good intentions, my stabs at creating a life of balance between inner and outer work go cattywampus as I search for the eject button on the Lazygirl.  Huh. There doesn’t seem to be one.  Drat.  An unnerving pile of laundry grows in the night while layers of dust turn the dark hardwood floor the color of ash—evident mostly in the morning sun that shines its light on a dusty path as I make my way to the kitchen.  Handy for me I have a friend who loves her new vacuum cleaner so much that she runs around our condo building looking for floors to vacuum.  It’s a Teneco by the way.  Never heard of it, but if I didn’t have her to do it for me, I might have to buy one.

I know there’s a message in here somewhere.  I just need to find it.  Ummm—it might have to do with how I feel about myself as I laze away the days living like a slug.  Yep.  That’s it.  How do I feel about myself?  Not good.  It feels as if I’m letting myself down again by not doing the things that I know are good for me.  I’m not listening to the urging of the quiet voice within myself that encourages me to get up and get moving.  Life in the slug lane does not produce a feel-good sense of self.  It’s depressing and I don’t like depressing.  It’s enough to make me decide that it’s time to do something about my attitude.  But what?

Just get up and get moving.  Oh, really?  Is that all?  How you do that without energy, enthusiasm, or will?  What am I missing?  Hmmm.

Oops.  Maybe I’ve lost sight of what matters most.  Maybe I’ve forgotten to keep my eye upon the donut and slid headlong down into the emptiness of the hole.  Maybe I have lost sight of my meaning, purpose, goals, or flunked willingness.  As much as I want to clear away the dust and return to a cleaner, clearer better version of myself, there are just times when I need help.  Pay attention, Julia.  Ask for what you need.

Okay, God. I can’t do this myself.  I need some willingness please.  Like magic,  willingness appears and morphs into want to.  Instant presto—the fans are flamed and I’m back.  When that happens—watch out world—here I come.

Forgetfulness is a mistake that I seem to repeat, but as an earnest student in the university of life, I get to retake my classes until I learn what I must.  Since one of my goals is to graduate with honors, I’d better get busy and work for an A+ in Feel-Good 101.

Note:  The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. ( or

It’s All in How You See


When I refused to buy into a friend’s negative diatribe about current events, she accused me of sticking my head in the sand.  Yep.  Guilty as charged.  She is absolutely correct.  My ostrich self absolutely does not want to listen to anyone’s terrifying rants about the state of world affairs.  It hurts my heart; it’s painful to my ears.

Don’t get me wrong here—I do not deny that the world is in a messy state and that it’s getting messier by the day.  It’s just that I don’t want to focus on the big, the bad, and the ugly.   It’s why I turned off the TV.  Nope—I prefer the ass-end-up, head-in-sand perspective.

There are ways to see, then there are ways to see.

Here’s the thing about messy and the ugly.  The more we see it, the more attention we give it, the more energized it becomes.  It’s like using sand to make concrete, to plaster layer upon layer of it around the mess to make it hard, permanent, impenetrable.  It becomes real and we’re stuck with it until enough of us show up to chip away at it, piece by piece until it is gone, demolished and starved of the energy it needs to survive.   We can do that, you know.  Like the Berlin wall.  We have that power, if only we will use it.

There are ways to see, then there are ways to see.

What if we were to join together to see a new world?  What if, instead of seeing a world of fear, we used our creativity and imagination to envision a new world of love, truth, beauty, goodness, harmony, and cooperation?  What if we all used the power that we have within ourselves to create a new reality of peace and joy, a world devoid of fear, messy, ugly?

These are some frightening and exciting times, my friends.  I keep thinking about what might be ahead, and wondering how it will all look a year or two from now.  The only thing that I know for sure is that somebody pressed the reset button to get us off to a sorely-needed new start.  It’s what I call making in-flight corrections.  How nice to have an opportunity to do so while we are still here, living on this planet.  Yes, we’re probably in for some uncomfortable times, but I know deep in my heart that we’ll be fine and that we’ll be better off for it.

We are so blessed to be standing at the crossroad of the past and future where we can dream up a new world and propel it into manifestation by the sheer power and force of our will and belief.

Yes, I prefer my Pollyanna approach to life over my friend’s negative world view beliefs.  I did then, do now, and always will.  You might call me an ostrich, but when there is good news on the horizon, I will happily extract my head from the sand and race full steam to meet it head on.  The world is full of good news right now.  We just need to see it.

Let’s get busy and start chipping away at the concrete walls of the past and replace them with some beautiful new sand castles in the air instead.  Are you in?

Note:  The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. ( or

Tip Toeing into a Brand New World


I seem to be verging on the edge of spiritual activism.  Verging, I say, because the thought of actually being one is a little scary.  Well, maybe a lot scary.  Activists can be extreme, bold, in-your-face obnoxious, and they can be shot and killed for all of their radical good intentions.  So yep—the thought of becoming one scares me.  There are days when I think that it might be part of my “assignment”, but mostly, I think that I am too much of a chicken to even think about it.

And yet—and yet, there is also a part of me that says, “Yes, but it’s time.  Somebody’s got to do it, and why not you?”

The world is in a state of chaotic turmoil and is crying out for help.  We need something to grab ahold of that will help us make it through these difficult times with faith enough to know that we’ll be okay, that we’ll survive, and that in the end, we’ll all be better off for it.

Meanwhile, there are bills to pay and there’s a world of suffering out there.

So maybe I’ll put my big toe in the water to find out how it feels to be an activist.  Maybe if a big fish doesn’t come along and snack on it for lunch, I’ll stick my whole foot in.  Maybe one day I might even gather the courage to dive in head first.

Why would I risk doing such a thing at the expense of catapulting myself out of my comfort zone, I wonder?

The world is beginning to wake up.  Evolution is happening before our very eyes.  We are all in it together.  It is happening now, and if there is any doubt about that, we need only look around.  The natural outcome of evolution is change, and though change is never looked upon with great favor, each and every one of us is doing exactly that.  We’re waking up and growing up.  We are all sharing in the painful birthing process that will bring forth a new and improved world.

So am I a budding activist or a midwife?  Or both?  Maybe if I redefined spiritual activist as one who shares good news and brings messages of hope, it wouldn’t be scary.  I can do that.  There is no role for fear in the face of good news.

Either way, I sense a growing need for the newly awakening to have the strength and assurance that there are unseen hands ready to help as we take our first tentative steps into a new and unknown world.  Maybe we just need to know that the waters of the new oceans are safe and there will be protection from the big fish.

All we need do is close our eyes, place our faith in the unknown, and be aware that in spite of appearances, all is well.  Now is the time to trade in fear for love and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we are all in good hands.

Did you hear that Julia?  The water is safe.  Just walk your talk and dive in head first.

Yikes.  Okay.

All right everybody, grab my hand and hang on to your hats because we’re gonna ride this scary roller coaster together.  And when we make it safely to the end and splash down into our brand new world, we’ll all rejoice and yell, “Whee—what a ride!”

Note:  The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. ( or




Woo Woo Camp Saves the Day


It’s another race around the clock.  This weekend I am in a livestream woo woo workshop for the spiritually minded.  A friend calls it woo woo camp.  Like yesterday and the day before, I have three hours before it starts, and if I don’t push the publish button before it begins, I’m sunk.  Oh, the pressure!

As I sit here in my Lazygirl waiting for inspiration to strike, I wonder if today is going to be another struggle.  Then it dawns on me that struggle is a outcome of a dysfunctional belief system.  If I sit around wondering whether it’s going to be a struggle, it will be.  Struggle becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy by virtue of my faulty beliefs.

My blog-writing game plan is to push publish before 10 am daily, but I missed my deadline for the first time yesterday when I doubted my ability to do so before an early meeting.  I thought I couldn’t do it.  And I didn’t.   I flunked button-push.  Self-fulfilling prophecy.

Self-doubt strikes again.  Blast!

See?  Now that’s a perfect example of a faulty belief that hijacked my game plan and knocked me off track.  Bummer.  So off I go, back to the drawing board to reassess what went wrong.

Woo woo it may be, but this workshop reminds me about where I have gone awry and what in-flight corrections may be in order.  It has jogged my memory and given me some grist for the upgrade mill.  I ain’t done yet.  Drat.

So far, I have been reminded about the power of thought and the importance of paying attention to what is going on in my head, lest I manifest something in my world that I would rather not.  My belief in struggle, for example.

This brings up another question.  Am I placing my faith in my head, or in my heart?  Is it in the ego part of myself that thinks I am so smart that I can do it on my own?  Or is it in the hands of a higher authority that has my best interests at heart and stands ready to provide all that I need to grow, thrive, and be happy?

I am a self-acknowledged slow learner and it may take me a while to figure things out, but I get there eventually.  One thing I know for sure—when I think I am so smart that I can do stuff on my own, I invite myself to fall flat on my face.  But when I remember to turn the hard stuff over to my Higher Self, or Soul, or God, or whatever one might want to call it, struggle vanishes and the road rises up to meet me.

Today I chose to put my faith in my heart instead of my head.  The result?  I still have an hour and a half until woo woo camp begins.  Woo hoo!  Yay God!

Note:  The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. ( or

Defining the Undefinable


As I was pondering the mysterious, unfathomable nature of God, two thoughts came to mind.  The first is my need to examine my concept of who or what I think that God is.  Just as I have a need to define ego and personality for purposes of my own understanding—though such definitions may be far afield from the establishment—I also dig deep within myself  to try to fathom the depths of what God is so that I can understand my relationship to him.  Or her.  This too may be far afield from theology.

When in search of a pronoun for God, I often use the word It rather than he or she because I believe that God is neither masculine nor feminine, nor does It have a long white beard.  God is pure energy, infinite intelligence, all pervading love.  God is the glue that holds the universe together.

There may well be as many definitions, descriptions, and names for God as there are people on the planet, many of whom also seek to solve the same mystery for themselves.  Just as it helps me to define my personal understanding of personality and ego (The Seeds of Learning), I also search for an understanding of God as It relates to me and my life.

Spoiler alert:  My conclusion may sound blasphemous, but here it is.

In my early years as a Truth seeker, I often puzzled over how it could be possible for God to hear my one small voice amidst so many billions of others around the world also clamoring for attention.  How could such a thing be possible?  After so many years of questioning, I finally realized the answer.

God is not One.  God is All.  God is energy divided up and lovingly installed into the heart of every single living creature on this planet.  God is the source of every aspect of my being.  It is my creative energy source; It is what lives me, breathes me, moves me, fuels me, teaches and guides me, blesses and heals me.  God is hiding a piece of Itself within every cell of my body.  It lies patiently awaiting my recognition and acceptance of It. even though I sometimes turn my back and walk away for a spell.  Yet It is always there.  But am I?

My personal definition may defy reason, logic, and theology, but for me, it solves the eternal mystery of how God hears my small voice among so many others.  Right or wrong, it works for me, and that knowledge is elixir for my soul..

The Divine Spark of God is right here with me for now and forever.  My only job is get myself out of the way long enough to clear away the manure that is clogging up the channel of communication.

I know there’s a pony in here somewhere.  All I have to do is dig deep enough and I will  find it.  Note to self:  There’s no time to waste, so giddy up.

Note:  The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. ( or

The Seeds of Learning are in the Mistakes


The day didn’t get off to a very good start.  I was jolted awake by the realization that a 10 am meeting might wipe out my self-imposed blog deadline.  Enter self-doubt.  Then there were about two hours worth of a couple of dozen false starts—write, delete, repeat.  Enter frustration.  No matter how hard I tried to force the issue, nothing worked except that I was getting nowhere at warp speed.  Enter arrgh!

Creativity on demand doesn’t always work out well.  Where is the go-with-the-flow?

The answer hit me when I took a wander-around break to clear the cobwebs out of my head.  Experts may disagree, but in my mind, the term ego is interchangeable with personality.  It just helps me to clarify things a little when I get confused about what’s what.  Or maybe with who’s who.

What’s what is that my creativity was hijacked by my ego.  The crafty little devil wanted to be in charge (so what else is new?) and was doing battle with my Higher Self for control.  Once I manage to to return to my right mind, that doesn’t always bode well for the ego.

After my little sojourn to the kitchen and back, I got it.  In my panic and haste to beat the clock, I didn’t take the time to sit down and have a little confab with my Self.  Uh oh—flunked meditation again and that means trouble.  That’s always a mistake.

But here’s the good news—every mistake comes with a lesson attached.  Today’s lesson is, don’t do that again!  It’s never a good idea to go running off into the day without stopping to check in with in my Self first because I’ll be led astray by the tricky ego every time.  It’s always comforting to remember that every mistake moves me one step closer to a happy ending.

Perhaps the worst mistake of all would be to leap back into life full-steam ahead without using this precious at-home time to delve deep within and connect with the part of me that knows and remembers that I am a Soul, not an ego.  Life just works better when viewed from a higher perspective.

There will come a day when this little pandemic vacation getaway will come to an end and then it’s hi ho, hi ho—it’s back to life we go, and I wonder—who will I be and what will I have learned when I come out the other side?  What will any of us have learned?

For now, all I know for sure is that it’s hi-ho, hi ho it’s off to a meeting I go.

And tomorrow and the next day too.  We’ll see how that goes . . .

Note:  The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. ( or









The Truth Will Set Your Free


I had a little chat with my friend (the one who plans to buy a gun) and without going into great detail, it turns out that our differing interpretations of the meaning of yesterday’s blog (Faith Trumps Fear) was Venus and Mars.  I thought that such misperceptions only happened between men and women, but apparently, I was wrong.  That happens a lot.  That I’m wrong, I mean.

As the last child in my family, I often did not feel heard so I learned to stuff my words back down my throat to avoid choking on the disappointment of not having my needs met.  My inability to understand my feelings and express my thoughts became the undoing of my failed marriages, but thankfully, after decades of trial and error, I have learned a great deal.

Oh, there were lots of errors—sometimes comical, sometimes painful, and often they came wrapped up as a combination platter.  In one of my marriages, my husband and I developed what we called the two-week rule, a tool that we used in the midst of an argument, or anytime that we faced a weighty issue that affected both of us.  It gave us two weeks of radio silence to mull over options and consequences and seek answers from within.

At the end of one such period, my husband’s conclusion was that he was leaving.  “WHAT?  What do you MEAN that you’re leaving? That’s not what we were supposed to be thinking about,” I bellowed.  “That’s what we were thinking about and that’s my decision” he replied.  “Noooo—we were thinking about whether we would invite your son to come and stay with us for a while.”  Talk about the mother of all miscommunication!

So, he packed up and left.  But it didn’t last long.  He was back later that evening at which point I wanted to throw him out again.  We laughed about it later, but it wasn’t very funny at the time.

Hmmm. Why did I wander down this road, I wonder?  Is there a point?  Does it have to do with being wrong?  Or communication?  Or telling the truth?  Or check all of the above?   Or Maybe it’s just a way to crack open the door and take a peek to see if there is room for improvement to be made anywhere along the line.

There is truth and then there is Truth, and it takes conscious effort to decipher one from the other, to discern the difference between the voice of the self and the Voice of the Soul.  Communication on every level is a skill, a fine art.  To be successful it must be learned, studied, rehearsed, practiced.  But mostly it requires honesty with one’s self.  It’s a trial and error process.  Will there be mistakes?  Absolutely!  Will there be wrong turns?  Of course.  I’m an expert in both, but even in wrong turns, there is great value.  But like anything truly worth having, it is truly worth working for.

Oh—and as a side benefit, it may even eliminate a few trips to Venus or Mars and save a marriage or two.

Note:  The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. ( or

Faith Trumps Fear


I thought it would be easy.

It is easy.  You are the one who makes it hard by thinking that it is.

Oh, right.  I keep forgetting.  Thank You for reminding me.

Would you care to get on with it now?


I have a friend who plans to get a gun as protection against what is for now, only an imaginary enemy.  That worries me because it says to me that fear is in play here, and fear is an enemy that cannot be annihilated with a gun.  Fear draws what is feared closer unto itself.

This morning when I read the news that two million chickens were killed because processing plants have stopped production due to the lack of employees, my heart skipped a beat as I thought about the poor chickens, and the utter waste of their lives.  Then came another headline about the possibility of food shortages.   Yep—I agree that such a possibility certainly is a scary thought.  It might be enough to make me think about going off in search of a gun myself.

But here’s the thing.  I believe that we have greater protection than guns.  I believe that there are hundreds of thousands of people walking around on our planet whose sole purpose for living is to carry a torch of light to help others to find their way through the dark.  They are faceless, they are nameless, they have never met, yet they are joined in consciousness as one in service to humanity.

Fear gone unchecked creates wars, and the war against fear itself begins with each individual.  It is not an easy battle, but for those who choose to engage in the fight, there are outstretched hands to help make it easier.  It is a noble undertaking to choose love above fear.  Reach out and someone will take your hand.

So, I ask my Self what we can do to help ourselves undo fear and replace it with visions of healing and rebirth.  Self replies:

You can remember that there is a Divine Plan at work and everything happens for a reason.

You can remember that in the war between good and evil, good is winning, even though it may not seem evident at this moment.

You can know that no matter what, you will make it safely through whatever the future may bring.

You can use your imagination to create a vision of a new and beautiful world without the need for guns.

You can have faith that no matter how bleak things may look, you may rest in the knowledge that you will make your way across the bridge from despair to the safety of the new world that awaits you on the other side.

And that is all for today, dear one.

Huh.  It appears that I have just outed my spiritual activist tendencies.

Yes.  So it would appear.  We’re happy about that, and may we say it is about time.  The world can use more of them. We are also happy that you are now speaking your Truth.

Me too.  Thank You!