Courage – Voices in My Head

Love or Fear: That is the Question!

She didn’t aim an Uzi at us in staff meetings, but if words could kill, we’d be all dead. Working for a crazy lady who struck the fear of God into her employees whenever the mood struck was terrifying. This woman was so difficult to work for that 19 of her 22 employees quit within a period of three months. Each time someone walked out through the revolving door, the remaining few would stare at each other and ask ourselves, “Why? Why are we still here?”

Why indeed?

My answer came in a profound journal entry at the end of my first three months when I was struggling over whether to stay or to go:

“If you can stay and be happy, then by all means, you should stay for there is much for you to learn. If you cannot stay and be happy, then by all means leave, because to stay in a situation in which you are not happy does not benefit you or anyone else.”

Words to live by. My choice. I decide.

I stayed, and for the next five years and learned life-changing lessons from an unbelievable teacher of love and fear.

One evening after a particularly brutal verbal assault, I went directly from work to a weekly workshop series that I had been attending. Still reeling from her most recent verbal attack just hours prior, I sat myself down and tried to settle in. The workshop leader began with a simple exercise in which she invited us to close our eyes and imagine a situation in which we felt fearful. No problem. I was right there—in it!

After a few moments, we were asked to switch gears from a state of fear and imagine a situation in which we experienced love. It was in that moment that I learned one of the most valuable lessons of my life. Love and fear cannot coexist. While in a state of fear, it is absolutely impossible to experience love. As hard as I tried, I was not able to move beyond fear and find love.

That memory reignited the realization that in today’s challenging world, fear is running rampant in our lives. It makes me wonder—if just one person can strike fear into the heart of just one other person (me!), or into the staff of an entire company, imagine the mayhem caused by fear running amuck on a global scale.

My experience in that exercise was a turning point in my life. My journal rambling was right; there were lessons to learn, if I was willing to hang in there long enough to learn them. Either I control my thoughts, or my thoughts control me.

Just as I was confronted with a choice point about love or fear so many years ago, it seems apparent that we are all being confronted with the same question and asked to make a choice now. We can either add to the world turmoil with fear, or we can help to dissolve it with love.

Love and fear cannot coexist.

The mind can hold only one thought at a time.

If your life depended on it, would you be able to choose love?

And with that question, I will stop writing and start pondering about what love is. Compassion, forgiveness, understanding, empathy, non-judgmentalism, acceptance of self and others, acknowledgement that we are all one. If what we think is what we get, rest assured—I’ll be thinking love.

Will you? I hope so!

A Deep Breath and a Little Courage

Jump out of an airplane and free fall through my fear? Yikes! That’s exactly how it felt on that February day in 2018 when I took my heart in my hands and pushed the publish button on my very first blog.

First time anything’s can be terrifying—the first day of school, a new job, or meeting face to face with an online date. Brian Hannon’s blog, Birth of a Blogger, catapulted me back to the moment when I decided that it was about time to take the leap across the chasm of fear and face the unknown by starting a blog—then muster up the courage to push the publish button. Double yikes!

My launch into the blogging world was particularly frightening because my writing style is often personal and self-revealing. Occasional self-deprecation leads readers to wonder if I’m joking to make a point, or if I’m serious, or check all of the above. It opens the door for readers to view my ramblings through the lens of their own inner vision, which can lead to various interpretations of who they think I am. Sometimes they get it right—sometimes not. Sometimes I don’t get it right myself and that’s okay, because through it all, I have learned that no matter what others may think of me, it is only important what I think of myself.

I invite you to take a trip across the chasm of fear into faith, knowing that no matter what you do or how you do it, it’s all a part of a journey toward wholeness. I invite you to experience my first free fall into the unknown world of blogging. I hope you’ll tag along and enjoy the ride. Who knows—we may even meet somewhere in the open space of joy along the way.

Ready? Here we go!

It’s About Time.

Wheee!

Solar Power

Every once in a while I drift off into a fanciful, imaginary world in which I am the Sun.

Here I am, my Sun Self, just hanging out in a state of eternal being, shining My light on every single life form on Planet Earth. Every creature, in every kingdom on Planet Earth, in every dark corner of the globe receives the benefit of my Divine Light in equal shares—the insects, plants, animals and all of humanity; the young, the old, the rich, poor, believers, nonbelievers, the good, the evil. Some embrace it, some reject it. Some revel, flourish and grow in it; yet others shrink from it.

Many are fearful of what they may see and close Me out by retreating into a space of false security; they hide from the darkness behind a door of denial to protect themselves from fear of the unknown; they pull down the shades and sit in the dark, terrified of what might be revealed that they do not wish to see. Others turn on the artificial light of the ego and believe that what they see in the darkness is real.

My light hides in plain view, clearly visible to some, completely obscured to others. Oh yes, there are often clouds, but to the awakened and wise, clouds are only a veil behind which the Truth abides. Nothing can hide the eternal light that blazes forth from behind illusion; it is ever available to those who seek.

Every being on the planet, every single life form, is entitled to an equal share of life-sustaining light. It is a freely given gift to all, but accepted by only the few souls courageous enough to turn away from the darkness and seek the light within.

It saddens me to the core of My being to think that so many choose to suffer in the dark rather than to open wide the window of their souls to let Me in and experience the beauty inherent within their own being. But alas, there is nothing to do but wait until the darkness causes so such suffering that a willingness to face the light creeps in to encourage a change of heart. When that moment arrives, I rejoice, for my purpose is accomplished and I stand ready to bless and heal with the eternal warmth of My loving rays.

I blink and my illusionary fantasy ends, and I see through a different set of very compassionate eyes.

As I awaken from my imaginary incarnation as the Sun, my focus shifts and my heart hurts. I think about how Christ might feel when I and others like me choose to hide from the light that He shines upon us. It makes me want to bow down before Him and beg forgiveness for my ignorance. But in Truth, I doubt that the Christ would want my forgiveness. I suspect that He would much rather have me wake up and fully embrace the Light that He so freely gives. Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do. May they see the light within and rejoice, for it is glorious in My sight.

May I flip the switch, convert Solar Power into Soul Power, and be glorious in His sight.

To add greater light to your life, visit A Tree of Light (http://atreeoflight.org/community).

Courage and Compassion

This beautiful, uplifting and inspiring poem was written by Leslie Stubbs. It is a blessing to travel the path of light with Lesley and her sister.

PEACE

My sister lights a peace candle.

Invisible currents make it dance,

Flickering and flaring both

As hope does

Beside TV images of war,

A Ukrainian mother prepares to give birth

In a subterranean bunker,

A Ukrainian businesswoman does gun training

With her new-formed female squad,

A Ukrainian grandmother serves tea and pastry

To a captive 18-year-old Russian soldier

Bartering his release upon his own Mother coming for him.

When the Ukrainian President says “I am still here”

And when ordinary citizens swear

They’d rather die fighting off

The long shadow of Putin For their children’s sake

They wake the heart of the world.

And every courageous action,

Every compassionate deed,

Every risky protest on the street,

Every meditation for Peace,

And every dancing candle,

Send ruby flaming arrows of Love

Into the chalice of the Heart Of the Soul of humanity.

Photo image courtesy of New Waves of Light (nwol.us)

Disorderly Conduct

Today as I wandered around in my disorderly computer files trying to clean out the messes that I have left behind myself over the years, I stumbled upon stuff that I wrote eons ago—stuff that never saw the light of day, stuff that just sits there awaiting some sort of acknowledgement, destination, or deletion. As I look back, these dusty little gems show me where I was then, and where I am now. Today’s discovery, written sometime prior to 2009 is a fine example of my escape from self-terrorism into the happy realm of loving my perfectly imperfect self. Here it is:

I think I am suffering from seasonal hair disorder. You know – the winter blah kind of thing that would make my hair look as if I stuck a finger in a light socket with the electricity turned on?

Not only that, but I have a sneaking suspicion that in an effort to seek good company, the hair disorder gremlins have sent out some clever little scouts that have obligingly returned with the discovery of a personality disorder to add to my list of seasonal dysfunctions.

The hair situation is only a temporary thing, thank goodness, but the personality disorder thing—well, sometimes I think it will never end. Just as I think I have one aspect of myself in order, another flares up to remind me of my imperfection. My current favorites are foot-in-mouth disease, and bad judgment.

On the growing number of occasions when I suffer flare-ups of one disorder or another, my first tendency is to immediately send myself into bouts of self-flagellation in an attempt to beat myself back into my own good graces. This is not a technique that I would recommend to anyone who is trying to make the return trip to sanity.

Once I discover the futility of self-flagellation, I move on to rationalization. “Well, it really wasn’t that bad, was it? I think he’s over reacting just a wee bit. Obviously she misunderstood what I said. If she had been paying closer attention, it wouldn’t have happened at all, right”

The next response to my faux pas is the questioning phase. Why in Heaven’s name did I say such a thing? It just squirted out of my mouth like Ketchup out of a bottle that’s been slapped on the bottom 57 times. I can’t believe I did such a thing. How could I have been so thoughtless?

Oh, my poor aching psyche!

Behavior is not who I am. Bad behavior, good behavior, not who I am. Sometimes I’m the good witch and sometimes I’m the bad witch. I’m the whole witch, both good and bad. Maybe when I learn to love and respect the entirety of myself, I can say goodbye to my disorders. Well, the personality one, at least. The hair disorder may be around for as long as there are winters in my life.

What troubles me about all of this disorder business is that it seems to be happening more frequently. It’s as if the message is becoming more and more urgent. GET IT TOGETHER GIRL! Maybe I’d better pay attention and listen up.

Maybe it’s all that unhealed anger that’s been roiling around inside of me. Maybe I’d better get busy and start tending to myself because if I don’t, those embarrassing foot-in-mouth moments will show up more and more often.

I actually know people who don’t suffer from any of these annoyances. They just don’t get it. “Stop beating up on yourself,” they say. Or, “You’re being a little hard on yourself, don’t you think?” I spoke to such a person over onion soup and a chicken wrap just yesterday. Apparently, some folks simply cannot relate to those of us who haven’t mastered Self-Love 101 yet.

Contrarily, I also know people just like me. The self-flagellation specialists who find any little excuse at all to tell themselves that they were wrong, said something stupid, or committed some unforgivable act. Maybe it’s because like attracts like, but it seems to me that there are a whole lot more of us than there are of them.

Frankly, I think that these guiltless wonders have their nerve. Just who do they think they are, anyway? How dare they just shrug their shoulders and walk away from their mistakes while the rest of us suffer the treachery of our own mind drama?

But you know what? I’ll give myself credit for having the courage to say out loud what so many of us suffer in silence. After all, who wants to admit to walking through life carrying a bag loaded full of personal flaws? It’s a crummy job, but I’ll do it, because by golly, if it gives just one other person hope and the courage to move beyond their self-perceived sins, then it’s all worth it.

Maybe I’ll try to be more like the guiltless ones.

Or, maybe just I’ll choose to be perfectly imperfect.

Or both.

Ah. Living happily within the realm of one’s own good graces is a glorious thing. I highly recommend it.

The Star of the Show

Yay! I finally got it—I think.

This morning I was kicked out of bed at 4:00 a.m. by an intense need to write it down before I forgot what I got. Wait—write what down? I already forgot what I forgot! Rats—there I go again. I forget a lot. Not just the little things, like where I put the butter, but the big things too, like who the heck I think I am. I’m gonna have to blame it all on the weird cosmic energy that’s bombarding the planet at the moment.

Oh, right! This morning what I finally got is that who I am isn’t who I think I am. Right. I knew that. The message finally became clear as I was pondering the blogs that I’ve written, their general overall content, message, tone, and theme. It’s hard to see one’s self through the eyes of another, because others perceive in ways that may or may not match the truth of the one being perceived. So writing a blog as self-revealing and personal as this one can sometimes be—how do you say—scary because vulnerability begets vulnerability and heaven forbid, somebody should see me in a way that would be embarrassing if I were to be found out.

Does a playwright or novelist ever wonder how an audience might perceive the characters that she has written into a play or a book? How would I see myself if I were the audience watching myself act out the part of the main character in the story?

Oh but wait! I am the character and the script writer. I’m the one in the starring role of my own one-woman show, standing on stage front and center playing the part of Julia, the character of many faces: the strong, weak-willed, self-confident, insecure, disorganized, confident, befuddled, self-serving, generous, strong willed, stubborn, indecisive, character who is apt to be both lovable and fearsome all in the same breath.

This confusing role could drive an actor to the brink of insanity, lost in a head-spinning morass of confusion and self-criticism all the while trying to sort out what’s real and remember to walk the dog and pick up her socks all at the same time. Today she’s the confident, strong one. Tomorrow she’s sniveling and insecure. Today she’s spiritual and whoops—wait a minute—now she’s bordering on egomaniacal. It’s the role of a lifetime. Or two, or two hundred. Small wonder such a character might imagine herself unworthy or deserving of anything worthwhile in life, what with all of these unexplained and unexpected variables cluttering up the inside of her psyche.

But it’s all only a play, isn’t it? Well, isn’t it?

When I first started my writing adventure, self-deprecation crept into the scene and became incorporated into the theme of the plot. Along with that came the perception by others that I may have a little problem here and there that needed a bit of fixing. Some viewed my self-deprecating humor as a sad commentary about my sense of self worth, concluding that I was somehow lacking in something that they were not. I, on the other hand, saw self-deprecation sprinkled with a touch of humor as healing and relatable because under the skin we all share the same humanness and are therefore subject to the same self-tyranny that leads to self-sabotage. But beneath the fear of whatever others might think, I saw writing and acting my part as simply a role I agreed to play while I’m here on planet earth. My job is not to judge my part but to play it however best I can and let the chips fall where they may. They never said it would be easy.

What I got was that however I choose to define myself, whatever aspect of the character that I play at any given moment, I am none of these things and I am all of these things wrapped into one grand and glorious ball of humanness that looks like a body, but in truth is a spark of the divine. While separated by bodies, we are spirit beneath the flesh and bones.

As I roll toward an end of my little one-act play here, I wonder—did I say what I meant to say? Did I get my point across? Will I be misunderstood? Will someone perceive my willingness to be vulnerable as weakness? Or will they see it as strength? Will I be perceived as I wish to be perceived? Does it matter how I am seen by others, or what anyone thinks of me? Do I really care? I guess that would depend upon which character you are asking.

I’m not sure about the answer to that question, but it really doesn’t matter because it is what it is, and will be perceived however it is perceived. If somebody benefits, then I will rejoice because my work here is done, at least for the moment. Heaven only knows what the next assignment will be, but whatever it is, I am looking forward to it. We all appear on the stage of life with a script, a part to play, a character to embody while living our role, but a forgiving director allows for improvisation if we need a redo to get it right. But in the end, the secret to the mystery of the plot is that we just can’t get it wrong because we are students in an acting school directed by a teacher who refuses to flunk anyone out of the class. We get to repeat, improvise, repeat, ad lib, repeat until one day we wake up, see the light, and get it right.

Speaking of the light . . .

Tomorrow is December 21^st, and the curtain will rise on a new show that has been in the production stages for eons. From what I hear, it’s going to be quite a grand light show and all I can say about that is—keep your eye focused on the light, stand steady, stand strong, relax and enjoy the show. It’s all good.

Note: The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. (newwavesoflight.org or NWOL.us)

Walking into a New World

Many years ago, I had a dream with an impact so profound that it gave me the courage, energy, and strength to make a major change in my life, to end a toxic marriage, uproot my life, and move from one coast to another in the sunrise of my senior years. At the time, it felt like walking a tightrope above a deep chasm in a hurricane without benefit of a net.

In those very dark years, I was stuck in a quagmire of unhappiness, despair, and hopelessness, paralyzed by fear that blinded me to the possibility of any form of escape into a better future. Things were looking very bleak indeed, and I seriously questioned my ability to survive in my current circumstances. It is reminiscent of the collective experience of humanity that we face today.

As we navigate through these deeply troubling times, I feel inspired to share this dream again, (Gateway) this time as a metaphor, in the hope that it may give others the hope that these chaotic times will come to a halt and be replaced by a new and better future.

Again I find myself standing at the dark end a bridge in a real-time remake of Groundhog Day, watching in horror as my world falls apart before my very eyes, wondering about my ability to survive. Then it was personal. Now it’s global.

Today you and I hold in our hands both individually and collectively, the gift of choice, for it is up to each one of us, to decide whether or not we wish to stay on the dark side of suffering and pain, or if we want to join forces with others determined to gather the will to pull ourselves up by the bootstraps and move forward into a new and improved future. The decision rests in my hands, as it rests in yours.

I sometimes catch myself thinking about the current plight of humanity, and realize how very easy it is to become caught up in the fear that runs rampant throughout our society and indeed, the world. It is tempting to fall victim to the belief that all is lost and there is no hope, much as I experienced those many years ago in a dying marriage.

On the ego-driven human side of the bridge, we are ruled by materialism and greed and live at the mercy of those who seek power and wealth at our expense. On the Divine side, love rules, a new world awaits.

Our hope of survival depends upon our ability to shift our attention away from the evil that seeks control by fostering fear of the future to confuse us. Instead, our hope of survival lies in our ability to turn a blind eye to the dark side and develop an intention to rewrite our own future using the power of our collective imagination to create the vision of a new and better world. The future of the world is changed one mind at a time.

Wait! Time out! For some reason, this blog has wandered off track and can’t find it’s way back. It has been days of trying, and for some reason, I can’t find a satisfying conclusion. Why is that, I wonder? Am I trying to hard? Am I listening to the voice of ego rather than to the voice of Spirit? Is my ego trying to convince me that I’m doing it wrong? That I’ll never get it right? What’s the story?

Is that what we are all doing these days—listening to the voice that tells us that everything is wrong and nothing is right? Is it that conning little voice that feeds on the fake conspiracy theories that we read on social media telling us that evil rules and all hope is lost? Isn’t that just exactly what the evil-doing power mongers want us to believe to weaken us and keep us off balance?

Maybe so. Maybe it’s time for us to take our power back. Maybe it’s time for us to stand up for ourselves, shine our individual and collective light into the darkness and flush out those who seek everything for themselves by stealing everything from the rest of us.

Speaking of walking from one side to another, this wasn’t the path I had intended to take when I started this blog, but then I am always willing to admit that I never know what’s coming. It’s kind of life itself, isn’t it? We start out going in one direction and somehow find ourselves headed in another. Sometimes the path is good, sometimes it needs tweaking. We need some tweaking now friends, some serious tweaking. We need willing souls, disciples, do-gooders, kind-hearted, light-bearing, well-meaning, God loving souls to join forces to spread around the importance of turning away from the dark side and walk hand in hand toward the light. Most especially, we need to find a way to help folks who are captured by the darkness of fear to take a peek around and find a glimmer of light. If the rest of us will shine bright enough, we will help prisoners of the dark escape into the light.

That means you. That means me. That means every single solitary soul who is invested in the best interest of humanity, the planet, and every creature that dwells upon it. The world is changed one mind at a time. One light joined with many will light up the entire world and irradiate darkness, and when that happens, miracles happen. We hold the power.

This time as we walk across the bridge to the Divine, we have a safety net. We walk together toward a new and better future, we have each other, and we have the power of the Light enfolding and protecting us. Together we will stand strong, stand steady, and we will reach the other side in a blaze of triumphant glory.

What Hides Beneath the Mask?

The-dark-shadows-of-humanity-2-274-a-768x644

I have new neighbors across the hall and the way things are going these days, I may not know what they look like for another year. When you’re my age, the good news about masks is that they hide the bottom half of a sagging, wrinkled face. The bad news is that my glasses steam up, I can’t see, I can’t read lips, and I can’t hear because everybody mumbles. Basically I am rendered deaf, dumb, and blind—but at least I am in the good company of much of the grey-haired, glass-wearing population where I live, and we’re all learning to understand mumblese together. My heartfelt sympathy goes to the younger generation trying to fumble their way through the dating game.

My sympathy also to those of us in my condo building who are personally confronted with an epidemic of pin hole leaks and an assortment of miscellaneous plumbing issues rivaling the proportions of the pandemic. Just as we think (and hope and pray) that it’s under control, another pipe pipes up and bursts forth with a vengeance later. Like health caregivers, plumbers are mightily overwhelmed trying to stay ahead of the floods. They think it might be due to the numbers of people staying home and flushing more. I guess there are stranger things . . . who can say?

Meanwhile, the deaf, dumb, and blind among us continue to run around in a frantic effort to plug up wayward leaks lest we drown before we have a chance to rip our masks off and take a great gulp of fresh air.

It all makes me wonder—is the mask that I wear covering up the best part of myself? Am I hiding behind the safety of what is old, familiar, safe? Is there something that I’m not facing, or something that I do not wish to see? Am I afraid that if I remove the protective mask that shelters my so-called safety that I’ll spring a leak and drown in my own fear? Am I afraid that if I remove the mask I will be judged unfavorably, or that I will expose my vulnerability to others, and be perceived as weak?

So what would happen if I suddenly ripped off the mask, exposed the sags and wrinkles, and came face to face with whatever hides behind the face covering? Well, I might be horrified. Or on the other hand, I might be pleasantly surprised to find a lovely person that I’ve never met, a beautiful soul with a light that shines as bright as the sun, someone that I’d really like to get to know, someone I’d like to hang with for the rest of my days.

It requires courage to allow dark shadows to come to light in order to be healed— to rip off the mask like a band-aid, or peel it away bit by bit like layers of an onion to peek at what lies beneath. But it is safe to trust in the wisdom, care, and guidance of Wise Ones who have our best interests at heart as we do what we must in order to discover the truth, beauty, and goodness that lives within. There’s light behind the mask. Let it shine!

Kumbaya

Crises-bring-opportunities-for-reflection-3-29-768x644

The We Are the World blog Link was about a conflict between the Board of Directors and the residents, current front page news in the condo where I live. It gives me comfort to know that our problems pale in comparison to others. I’m told that in Florida there is barely a day that goes by without a news article outlining the ugly details of lawsuits between condo boards and residents. Heaven forbid we ever come close to such an extreme. Not on my watch.

A friend in our building who regularly reads Voices suggested that my kumbaya approach to problem solving is all very nice, but it doesn’t fix anything. Perhaps so. It is true that many blogs of the past few months end with kumbaya, the plea for unity, harmony, and peace in the world. There’s nothing wrong with a little kumbaya here and there. It’s good for the soul.

But she does have a point. How do we build a bridge from the idyllic dream of utopia across the broad expanse of disharmony and discontent to the safety on the other side? How do we move from kumbaya into practicality? I don’t have a clue what the experts might say—if in fact there are any—but in my world, it begins with an open mind, willingness, desire, and intention. Anything less and the bridge will be nothing more than a failed attempt ending in collapse. Everything begins in the mind first and becomes manifest through action taken out of imagination. The first step is to approach the problem with the intention of finding a solution, a sincere willingness to address it head on with an open mind, and a true desire to create an outcome that satisfies all parties involved. Kumbaya.

How many times have I chosen to launch into my ostrich act and stick my head in the sand rather than to a face a difficult problem? All too often. Where does it get me? Deeper in the sand. It takes great courage to muster up the inner gumption to look fear in the eye and take a risk. But courage is the foundation, and communication is the superstructure that will build the bridge that takes us safely across the chasm to the other side, where unity, harmony, and peace await in the idyllic land of utopia. Or Camelot. Your choice. You dream it, you intend it, you decide where you want to live. It’s all in the attitude.

So my friends, neighbors, and fellow travelers on the pathway of life, I bid you well. I pray you dream happy dreams of life as the way you would like it to be, I pray that when you are ready, you will effortlessly and easily manifest a life of your choosing. If we all work together, we can build the bridge and reach the safety of the other side. Kumbaya.

The Window of the Soul

Pain-has-always-been-the-greatest-prod-to-spiritual-growth-3-193-768x644

The window washers are coming today and soon I will see clearly from the inside out. Now if I can just clean up the of the window of my mind, I will see clearly from the outside in. Once in a while if I’m not paying close attention, things can get a little murky in here.

Sometimes, when I have a bit of spare time, I enjoy peeking through the windows of the minds of other bloggers, especially those who share their innermost thoughts, feelings, challenges, struggles, and insecurities. Sometimes the view through the windows of others provides a clearer reflection of myself.

Bloggers tend to tell the truth about themselves, about what they’re thinking and feeling. Their honesty is refreshing, and sheds a light in the darkness. In finding light in others, I find light within myself.

One of the most profound aspects of my education as a spiritual seeker was my training as a facilitator. True service, we were taught, lies in healing oneself first in order to help others—healing the unhealed healer. Thus, we became both students and teachers to one another, working together toward healing the parts of ourselves that were the obstacles to inner peace.

In the process, we discovered that no one is immune from the machinations of a mind ruled by the ego. We learned that we are all subject to the aspect of ourselves that would have us believe that we are unworthy, undeserving, and unlovable. We learned that there is great healing in the willingness to share the depths of one’s being in the safety of a trusted confidant. We learned that the more we are able to see into the soul of another, the more there is to love.

I am no stranger to the battle between love and fear. Why do we hesitate to share our inner truth with another? It all about fear. Fear of embarrassment, of being judged, misperceived, misunderstood, flawed, fear that the truth will somehow reveal the insecure, unlovable parts of the self that we do not wish to acknowledge to ourselves or to others. The bottom line? It is a fear of loss of love.

My greatest lessons in life were learned in the intense six-month facilitator training where as both student and teacher, I discovered that the willingness of another to share her deepest and most personal aspects of her being drew me closer in compassion and love, because in the other person, I could see my own struggle to overcome the parts of myself that I perceived as unlovable.

In spite of all of my spiritual education and training, I still find that I fall prey to the tricks of the ego; the window of my soul get foggy and I lose sight of who I am. The return trip to sanity requires only that I sit and be still, find the quiet in my Soul, ask for help, and remember that love is the Windex that will make the window of my Soul sparkle.