It’s All In How You See It

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It’s a brand new day on which to write another page of my life.  What will be written today, I wonder?  Who will show up on the page?  Will Julia be lighthearted and funny today?  Will she be serious and introspective?  Will she be a little self-deprecating, or slightly irreverent?  Or maybe check all of the above?  Always a mystery, always a surprise, ever an opportunity to sit back and watch as the daily script of my life plays itself out.

Today I am aware that there are multitudes of personalities crashing around inside clamoring for attention.  Me. ME.  No, ME!!  The committee in my head is busy at work jostling for position.  It’s a circus in here.  The jugglers and the clowns are duking it out for top billing and the jugglers are losing.  It’s hard to keep juggling while duking it out.

Last night, one of my dear friends called to share a few thoughts about Voices.  She loves me.  She thinks I’m wonderful.  She thinks that sometimes my writing fails to express the me that she sees, and that upsets her because she believes that I am showing the world a picture does not match her view of me.  She wants me to shine, to show the best of myself to the world, to show myself in a favorable light.  I’m fine being in it warts and all, if it helps anyone else.

Her comments sent me off on yet another inner quest in search of motive and purpose.  Why do I write?  Who am I writing for?  Am I afraid of vulnerability?  How do I feel about being judged, or misjudged?  How am I being perceived, or misperceived?  Does it matter to me?  Do I care what others think?  If so, why?

What a gift to have a friend who loves me enough to tell me what she really thinks.

Oh, but wait.  Have I interpreted her words correctly?  Did I get it right?  The only way I will get an accurate answer is to ask her.  My perception of her comments is strictly that: my perception.  Perhaps one or both of us might be wrong.  Sometimes the windows through which we view life might get a little foggy and benefit by a bit of Windex.

Here’s the bottom-line question to myself.  Will I let the perceived images and impressions of others stop me, from writing, or from telling my truth?   Will I let the perceptions and interpretations of others change the way I write?   Or the things I say about myself?  Or allow my vulnerabilities to tempt me to go into hiding?  No, I think not.

I had a little chat with myself about that, and conclude that whatever turns up on the page is okay with me.  And whatever anyone thinks is none of my business.  So, what is it today?  Is it lighthearted and funny?  Serious and introspective?   Or maybe a little self-deprecating, or slightly irreverent?  Or check all of the above?  What do you think?

Whatever it is, it didn’t quite turn out the way I expected, but that’s just part of the mystery.  Always a surprise, ever an opportunity to sit back and watch the daily script play itself out.  We are the writers, producers, directors, and actors of each new day.  We are the ones who make it up as we go, and we’re the ones who see it through the eyes of our own inner vision.  I don’t know about you, but my script has a happy ending.

Note:  The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. (newwavesoflight.org or NWOL.us).

Am I Dreaming?

 

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I love to ponder the question of reality.  As I sit with fingers poised on the keys of my laptop with my feet resting comfortably on an ottoman, I savor the sensory pleasures of a steaming hot cup of coffee, sunlight that warms my toes through the window, and the whiff of Spring in the air.  It’s all very tangible, very real, very comfy.

When I go to sleep tonight, the laptop, keyboard, and ottoman will all disappear.  They will simply vanish into the ethers.  Poof.  Gone.  Suddenly my daytime reality will slip away and I will live a different dream, one that is as real as the one with the laptop, sunshine, and coffee.

Sometimes my nighttime dreams are so real, so tangible, that when I try to start conversations with friends or relatives who played a starring role, I am met with a look of disbelief and told that such an event never happened.  It was only a dream.  Or maybe a nightmare.  Really?  Who knew?  Am I crazy?  Maybe.

As I try to discern the difference between real and unreal, another question comes to mind.  When I take my final breath and leave this world, will I awaken into yet another dream and find that this life, this so-called reality that I am currently living will vanish and be nothing more than the vague memory of a fleeting dream?  Will I awaken from one imaginary world and find myself in another—one that is more tangible to me than this one is now?  Or will I find myself sound asleep in a black hole in space?

These are heady questions indeed, but so worth pondering.  I can see that a reader might get lost in all of this talk of dreaming, as I sometimes lose myself in living life amidst the confusion of all of my own dreams.

A lucid dreamer has the ability to change the course of a nighttime dream while it is still in progress.  This is a learned skill, one that I have not yet mastered—but I’m working on it.  In my awake daytime dreams, I call it making in-flight corrections.

Though I may still be in kindergarten with my lucid nighttime dreaming skills, I am making good progress in my effort learn how to turn my current daytime dream—or lifetime, or reality, or whatever one may wish to call it— into happy dreams of love rather than unwelcome nightmares of fear.

I can alter the direction of my world and the world at large by choosing and changing the direction of my thoughts.  I can fill my head with visions of a beautiful harmonious, new world populated by characters who share a common dream of love, of people who know the Truth, who dream the same dream, who believe in the same reality—a reality of a new Heaven on earth.  Oh how I long for the day . . .  we are so close.

Note:  The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. (newwavesoflight.org or NWOL.us).

Are You in the Audience?

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If you ask me what I am grateful for today, I have a one word answer.  It’s you.

Yes, youYou who are taking the time to read these words, you who are consistent faithful readers, you who are fellow bloggers whom I’ve never met, you who are friends and family I know so well, you who write comments and push the Follow and Like buttons.  Yes.  It’s youyou who I think about every day with great gratitude in my heart for just being here, you who forgive my misuse of who and whom’s.

Writing is a solitary job.  It often feels as if I am sitting blindfolded on a dark stage playing to an unseen audience who sit in chairs wondering what to expect and why they came.  As I send work out into the blogosphere headed toward unknown destinations, it is impossible to know if anyone is out there reading.  Push the button, let the chips fall where they may, let the results be whatever they are.

Artists have an advantage over writers, because works of art require only a momentary glance to be appreciated, but for writers, it’s different.  Reading requires an investment of  time, energy, and effort.  For this reason, I am all the more grateful to you for your willingness to sit and read, rather than glance and walk away.

I can only guess at your motive for reading.  Perhaps it is because you are a loyal friend offering support and encouragement.  Or perhaps you are a fellow blogger in search of food to fuel the fire of your own inner passion.  Or perhaps you resonate with some of my life experiences because they are similar to your own.

Perhaps like me, you have a desire to transform your world and your life into something better, to join in consciousness to create a mighty force of love to move higher up the ladder toward a vision of yourself and of a new world.  Or perhaps you are drawn for a multiplicity of reasons obscure to your conscious mind.  Perhaps. Perhaps not. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

I love you guys.  I hope that you will drop by and say hi once in awhile by pressing the Follow or Like button or share your thoughts in the comments section.  Be forewarned—it can take a bit of determination and perseverance to comment on WordPress, but then, isn’t life just like that sometimes?

If you’re looking for a bottom line, here it is: you feed my soul.  Your presence fills up the black hole of space in an auditorium full of empty seats.  I truly, truly do appreciate you and I offer silent blessings when I know that you’ve stopped by for a read.

As a small girl once said to her amused audience when she accepted a grand award, “I thank you from my bottom to my top.”  Well said.

Note:  The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. (newwavesoflight.org or NWOL.us).

Defining the Undefinable

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As I was pondering the mysterious, unfathomable nature of God, two thoughts came to mind.  The first is my need to examine my concept of who or what I think that God is.  Just as I have a need to define ego and personality for purposes of my own understanding—though such definitions may be far afield from the establishment—I also dig deep within myself  to try to fathom the depths of what God is so that I can understand my relationship to him.  Or her.  This too may be far afield from theology.

When in search of a pronoun for God, I often use the word It rather than he or she because I believe that God is neither masculine nor feminine, nor does It have a long white beard.  God is pure energy, infinite intelligence, all pervading love.  God is the glue that holds the universe together.

There may well be as many definitions, descriptions, and names for God as there are people on the planet, many of whom also seek to solve the same mystery for themselves.  Just as it helps me to define my personal understanding of personality and ego (The Seeds of Learning), I also search for an understanding of God as It relates to me and my life.

Spoiler alert:  My conclusion may sound blasphemous, but here it is.

In my early years as a Truth seeker, I often puzzled over how it could be possible for God to hear my one small voice amidst so many billions of others around the world also clamoring for attention.  How could such a thing be possible?  After so many years of questioning, I finally realized the answer.

God is not One.  God is All.  God is energy divided up and lovingly installed into the heart of every single living creature on this planet.  God is the source of every aspect of my being.  It is my creative energy source; It is what lives me, breathes me, moves me, fuels me, teaches and guides me, blesses and heals me.  God is hiding a piece of Itself within every cell of my body.  It lies patiently awaiting my recognition and acceptance of It. even though I sometimes turn my back and walk away for a spell.  Yet It is always there.  But am I?

My personal definition may defy reason, logic, and theology, but for me, it solves the eternal mystery of how God hears my small voice among so many others.  Right or wrong, it works for me, and that knowledge is elixir for my soul..

The Divine Spark of God is right here with me for now and forever.  My only job is get myself out of the way long enough to clear away the manure that is clogging up the channel of communication.

I know there’s a pony in here somewhere.  All I have to do is dig deep enough and I will  find it.  Note to self:  There’s no time to waste, so giddy up.

Note:  The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. (newwavesoflight.org or NWOL.us).

If We Can Dream It, We Can Build It

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The sky is not falling.  The roof is not caving in.  No, we are just under construction.  We are tearing down for the purpose of rebuilding.  Well, that’s the way the horoscopes usually say it. . . .

Today I feel this overwhelming urge to say, “Hey—as long as we are rebuilding, let’s have a say in the design of the new future.  Let’s use our collective intelligence, passion, vision, and imagination to recreate the world in a way that we would like to have it be.  Let’s use our minds in a positive way rather than focusing on the fearful thoughts that bring the risk of turning themselves into self-fulfilling prophecies.

When I was an outside sales representative in Washington, D.C. years ago, I encountered an old man on the same street corner every day wearing a helmet and holding a gigantic placard with tiny writing.  The gist was that the atmosphere was filled with negative radio waves and that his helmet was protection against the toxic energy emitted by it.  Everyone should be wearing helmets, he said.  Well, obviously, the man was a little off.  Or maybe a not.

But here’s the thing.  His helmet and rambling placard were the catalyst that jolted me into a new awareness.  What if there was some truth to his ramblings?  What if I was walking through life wearing a broadcast helmet that blared my every thought out into the universe and everyone in it?  What if every friend, loved one, and passing stranger heard every ugly, spontaneous thought that popped into my head?  Oh egad!  Just think of the ramifications!  Maybe I should wear a helmet to protect myself from my own thoughts, as well as those from others.

There is no hiding from our thoughts and much as we might like to think so, we cannot hide our thoughts from the universe.  On some level, we are broadcasting our thoughts for all to hear, and there is an always an impact, like ripples in a pond.  The most important thoughts that have the greatest impact of all are those that we have about ourselves.

Ah but I digress.  Every thought has creativity and power within it, and every though has meaning.  We can use that powerful energy as a construction tool to create whatever we want, but first we must create a blueprint and build upon a solid foundation of love rather than a shoddy, haphazard foundation of fear.

Fortunately for us, there is so much help available to us as we seek to find our way through the debris left in the wake of so much destruction.  Just as we are locked within our homes during this universal crisis, the answers we seek are locked within ourselves waiting to be set free.  Seek and ye shall find.

We are standing together at the crossroad of the past and future, and together we can use our God given power and ability to help build the bridge that will get us safely across.  We are under construction, following the blueprint of a Divine Plan.  Trust. Have faith.  All is well.

Note:  The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. (newwavesoflight.org or NWOL.us).

 

Charlie Calling—Or Is It My Soul?

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It’s not that I don’t like dogs, mind you.  It’s just that I like them a whole lot better when they belong to someone else.  Nope—no dog for me.

Get a dog.

Gee thanks, but no thanks.

And a few days later—

Get a dog.

The banter went on for weeks.

I was emphatic.  NO!  I don’t want a dog.  Ever.  I don’t want the responsibility, the expense, the restriction, the dog hair in the butter, the walks in nasty weather, the accidents on the carpet, the health issues, the suffering through the loss at the end.  No.  No dog for me.

Get a dog.

Finally, after several months of serious resistance, I gave up and got a dog.  Surrender Dorothy.

Enter Charlie, a Japanese Chin named Charlie Chin—a caramel sundae of a fluff ball that stole my heart and changed my world forever.  It would take too many words to tell you about the wonders or Charlie, or the gifts that he brought into my life, but maybe another day.

Even now after twelve years, it is difficult to fathom the profound lessons that came along wrapped in the package with Charlie.  Among the many, the one that stands above all others is the willingness to heed the call of the Inner Voice that knows what is best for the growth of the soul.

Trust me, I’ve heard about a bazillion voices throughout my lifetime, most of them annoying, confusing, obnoxious, and just plain downright not nice.   Thankfully through trial and error, I’ve managed to narrow them down to my favorites, the ones I call the committee in my head.  By the way, and just so you know, I never thought of myself as crazy.  Maybe a little misguided from time to time, but never crazy.  Misguided would be courtesy of listening to a bazillion wrong voices.  It pays to hear with a discerning ear.

Dogs don’t need to learn how to hear with a discerning ear because they already know.  Charlie was wise.  He knew how to just listen and be.  Sometimes I called him Yoda.  Charlie Chin Yoda.

I want to be just like him when I grow up.  I want to just listen and be.  I want to develop that inner wisdom and knowing that lives within the animal kingdom, and that also lives within us two-legged creatures, if we will just be still long enough to seek it within ourselves.

As we stay cloistered within the walls of our own homes, what better time to do just that—practice our communication skills with the wise Voice within—the voice that leads unfailingly down a path beyond fear and toward love.  We’re all going to get where we’re going eventually.  Guaranteed.  It’s just a matter of how long we’ll linger along the way.

Me?  I prefer sooner rather than later.  It’s why I got a dog.  And quit smoking, and knocked off the wine, and signed on for a daily blog.  I guess I’m in a bit of a hurry.  How about you?

Note:  The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. (newwavesoflight.org or NWOL.us).

Follow Your Heart Home

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This morning  I found myself asking why I have suddenly decided to renew a commitment to write a daily blog.  As I sort through the myriad of answers, I discover that yet again I experience some of the same-old, same-old hitches in my git-along that I thought (hoped) were long gone.  Guess not.  An intertwined mixture of altruistic and egotistic reasons drift by.  I don’t always like what I see, but if I can see it, I can change it.  Again.  Sigh.  I thought I already had.

This morning as I sat struggling with today’s blog and asking myself the eternal “why” question I pondered whether or not my efforts are worth it.  It was just about then that I received validation in the form of an email telling me that someone had just pushed the “follow” button on Voices in my Head.  Ah.  Maybe the effort is worth the effort after all.  In case you are wondering, Christian, that was you.  Thank you.

Part of my wondering process brought to mind another question—or maybe more of a concern.  Is a daily blog too much?  Does it clog up an already-clogged inbox and incite one to delete, delete, delete?  Egotistically, of course, I’d love it if everyone would read and hang on to every word I write.  Realistically, however, that ain’t never gonna happen and understandably so, because there is not a blog in the world that will appeal to everyone, most especially the type of which I write.

I speak to you from the heart because I know that beneath the skin, we are all one in spite of the appearance of our differences.  And yet in spite of our many varieties, inside we are part of the same family, brothers and sisters living together in the vast universe that we call home.  We need to take care of each other, and we need to take care of our home.

I guess that I just answered my own question.  Yes, it’s worth the effort because you all are my family and I love you.  I want the best for you.  I want you to love yourself as much as I love you.  Ah.  There’s the altruistic part.  That’s the part of myself that I love the most.

As you navigate your way through this strange and baffling time in which we live, I hope that you know that you are loved and supported by a myriad of people in the world who carry a torch to light your path and help you find your way through the dark to your true home.

Follow the light and it will lead you to boundless love and irrepressible joy.

Love and blessings to all!

Note:  The beautiful image and meme above are courtesy of New Waves of Light (nwol.us).