Jump out of an airplane and free fall through my fear? Yikes! That’s exactly how it felt on that February day in 2018 when I took my heart in my hands and pushed the publish button on my very first blog.
First time anything’s can be terrifying—the first day of school, a new job, or meeting face to face with an online date. Brian Hannon’s blog, Birth of a Blogger, catapulted me back to the moment when I decided that it was about time to take the leap across the chasm of fear and face the unknown by starting a blog—then muster up the courage to push the publish button. Double yikes!
My launch into the blogging world was particularly frightening because my writing style is often personal and self-revealing. Occasional self-deprecation leads readers to wonder if I’m joking to make a point, or if I’m serious, or check all of the above. It opens the door for readers to view my ramblings through the lens of their own inner vision, which can lead to various interpretations of who they think I am. Sometimes they get it right—sometimes not. Sometimes I don’t get it right myself and that’s okay, because through it all, I have learned that no matter what others may think of me, it is only important what I think of myself.
I invite you to take a trip across the chasm of fear into faith, knowing that no matter what you do or how you do it, it’s all a part of a journey toward wholeness. I invite you to experience my first free fall into the unknown world of blogging. I hope you’ll tag along and enjoy the ride. Who knows—we may even meet somewhere in the open space of joy along the way.
Life is like a soap opera, have you noticed? It becomes more fascinating, outrageous and unpredictable by the day. Take today’s episode, for example.
On March 22nd, Saturn is entering Pisces and Pluto is on the move. I don’t know much about astrology, but I hear that this is a huge, unprecedented cosmic event—like the first time in forever.
Okay, so I’m not an astrologer or rocket scientist. Clearly, the intricacies and complications of such fields of endeavor are best left to the erudite among you—I never claimed to be a good student.
But I am a serious student of the mysterious—intrigued by all things puzzling, strange and mystical—magnetically drawn to seek a peephole in the veil that prevents us from seeing the magic that awaits on the other side. But that pesky soap opera keeps blocking my view.
So what does all of this unprecedented, never-before galactic activity mean to us mere mortals who still fumble our way along through this earthly life? From what I see, read, hear and discern, this Saturnly romp into Pisces is a very big deal. There is remarkable conjecture about what will happen once this great planetary shift occurs—amazing miracles perhaps, like our bodies morphing from dense physical into light bodies needing no doctors, dentists, or roofs overhead. Wow. Wouldn’t I just love to not have to figure out what to wear tomorrow, or what to have for dinner? Or joy of joys, cross my dentist’s name off of my contact list?
After sifting through the plethora of possibilities, I’ve finally settled upon something that makes sense to me. Will I wake up on March 22like the emperor wearing only a new birthday suit of shimmering light? No? Rats. I was hoping. . . Well, heck. What’s for dinner?
My logical, non-astrological, unscientific self concludes that for those who have sleepwalked their way through life so far, the March 22nd solstice will simply be just another day. That’s it. Just another ordinary day.
But those who are awake and aware may sense, see, and feel a new reality that will amaze them. Imagine, for instance, awakening to a profoundly increased sense of the Divinity within, of oneness with all, a lighter body, a joyfulness, a lightheartedness, a greater attunement to intuition and telepathy, a newly discovered ability to shift consciousness from the dense physical realm into one that exists beyond the physical eyes.
This long-awaited increase in consciousness might not strike like a lightning bolt, but may silently creep into awareness, slowly, gently, day by day, moment by moment. If this miraculous metamorphosis doesn’t happen for you, take heart, have patience, allow for the possibility and simply observe.
The portal will open, for all. Those with eyes to see will see. Those who prefer to remain as they are will do so, yet when they decide to wake up to the possibility of something greater, they will find the light peeping in through the darkness and when ready, will find their way onto the path of personal evolution.
This momentous shift has been likened to the apocalypse—it is a time to decide whether to hide in the dark and stay asleep or wake up and move into the light. Plain and simple. Our loving, forgiving Creator offers no punishment for choosing the dark, for the pain and suffering born of darkness is punishment enough. Eventually all eyes will open to the light and the lost will be found.
We are told by wise Elders in the spiritual realm that we will soon be visited by The World Teacher, The Christ. It will be the end of an old story and the beginning of a new script.
Have you decided how you’d like this episode of the soap opera to end? As the world turns, what better time than now to decide which way to go. It is never too late to write a happy ending. I have! What about you?
Before you go, I am inspired by the courage of a soul-sister who candidly shares a portion of her own spiritual journey from darkness to light in her blog, Coming Out of the Shadows. In it, she invites us to join in monthly conversations about “Living as a Soulas we Prepare for the The Coming One.”
Saturday, 18 March ~ 8 pm GMT, 4 pm New York, 8 pm London, 9 pm Rome, 7 am Sydney (Sunday). To join monthly Circle Conversations, click on the link below. Also offered every Wednesday: Meditations for the Soul. For more information go to A Tree of Light home page.
It started with a pre-dawn 0’dark thirty meeting after a scant three hours of sleep. From there it slid downhill and crash landed into a multiple tangle of tasks with deadlines that jumbled together like stew in a pot, resulting in a day spent careening from one misstep to another at warp speed.
I invited people to attend meetings on incorrect dates, then had to send out corrections to the corrections. As brain fog gathered a head of steam, I couldn’t figure out where to file which version of what draft, resulting in multiple frantic searches of lost work and embarrassed apologies to recipients. There was more, but mercifully, my brain has taken pity on me and blanked them out.
The crowning blow was a confounding glitch in my computer that kept popping up in the middle of whatever I was doing to halt and/or wipe out what little progress I had made. The prospect of having to spend another ninety minutes on the phone with Apple troubleshooting the problem for the fourth day in a row loomed large in my mind. Oh Lord have mercy on my poor beleaguered soul.
So how was your day, dear?
Happily, today started on a brighter note, with a good night of sleep and a deep dive into gratitude knowing that yesterday is over and today will be better. As the bliss of gratitude began to settle in, it slowly dawned on me that maybe yesterday’s misadventures were a test. There’s just nothing like a little pop quiz to wake me up and take me on another stroll down Self-Inquiry Lane.
And so it begins. How am I doing on the road to enlightenment? Where am I on the journey? Did I have control over my mind? No. Did my emotions get the better of me? Yes. Was I rational? No. Was I frustrated, angry, or judgmental over all of my self-perceived shortcomings? Yes, yes, and yes. Did I let my mind and emotions get the upper hand? Oh, you betcha! Oy what a day—to say that it was humbling would be a gross understatement. Her Royal Crankiness blasted her way through the door of insanity and ruled the day.
Now that yesterday’s misadventures are in the rear view mirror, I can look back, and see it as gift to show me where I need improvement—and enough self-awareness to recognize where I went astray and make a vow not to do it again. Well—I might do it again, but with luck I’ll catch myself in the act and make in-flight corrections before I get too far out of hand.
A morning that started at 0’dark thirty resulted in a day that saw me bumbling and stumbling along searching for the light. Then in a flash of aha-ness, it dawned on me that my dark yesterday was a microcosm of how life is when I wander around asleep to the recognition of the Truth of who and what I am. As I go, so goes the world.
The words in the meme above say: “The growing light of awakening souls is transforming the darkness of our world.” For me, that simple statement boils down to just one thought: “The darkness of the world is transformed when I wake up.”
Whoa! Powerful words indeed. The more awake and aware I am to the reality of my soul and the love within, the more darkness is transformed. As I contemplate this thought, I realize that as members of the human family, we are solely responsible for bringing about the changes that we would like to see. As I change myself, the world changes along with me. As I shine my light in the darkness, the light expands exponentially and the world becomes a brighter place.
Again, I ask myself where I am on my journey to enlightenment. Am I awake? Am I doing my part? Are there bits and pieces of myself that need a bit of readjustment, realignment or reevaluation? Do I need a bit of tweaking to get myself back into proper working order?
And again, I answer yes, yes, yes to all of the above. The process of awakening can be a daunting and sometimes scary trip. Yet to make the decision to wake up and take the first step onto the path of self-awareness is the most important, and ultimately the most joyful and rewarding decision one can ever make.
Just imagine—when enough of us decide to flip the switch from dark to light, from asleep to awake, the wonderful new world that we are promised will become a reality sooner, rather than later. The darkness of the world is transformed when we wake up. Just imagine!
Full disclosure: The yesterday of which I speak was actually three yesterday’s ago. I’m just a little slow on the take.
This morning at 7:15 as I was peacefully settling into my meditation, I heard the sound of a very large engine idling noisily outside my window. I ignored it for a while, testing my ability to maintain focus on my own business. But when I could no longer stand the curiosity, I had to see if it was an ambulance or fire engine—if perhaps one of my friends or neighbors was soon to be carted off to the emergency room.
On one hand, I was relieved to see that it was only a large delivery truck; on the other, the rules police in me took over and I called a member of the board of directors to report the infraction. No deliveries are to be made through the building lobby. Ever. Period.
The person involved might be a new homeowner unfamiliar with the rules. Or, perhaps a current resident who doesn’t give a rat’s patootie about rules and chooses to ignore them. Or maybe it was all just a massive misunderstanding between homeowner and delivery person. Either way, it needed to be addressed lest it spiral out of control and/or serve as permission for others to go thou and do likewise.
Well phooey. So much for peaceful meditation.
My mind takes me off into the world of conflict, self-doubt, and self-judgment. Did I do the right thing? Should I have done that? Did I rat out a friend or create hard feelings between the parties involved? Was it any of my business in the first place? Do I need to apologize to someone, or ask for forgiveness? How many apple carts did I upset with my seemingly well-intended meddling? Certainly, some apples fell out of my own cart.
Oh but wait! What is wrong with this picture? What thoughts am I allowing to dominate my mind? What am I creating? Oops. I think I’ve got the emPHAsis on the wrong syLABle again. Is this the reality that I want to create? No. I prefer to make peace, not war.
Just prior to my self-inflicted curiosity disruption, my mind had taken me to the wonderful illusory world of the New Age that we are promised. (Some may call this woo-woo thinking, but I choose to think of it as something wonderful that’s waiting for us just around the bend). But alas, the interruption yanked my mind away from the wonder of New Age thinking, and the role that we, the people of the planet, might play in getting us there.
Curiosity satisfied, I am free to resume my dreaming. Ahh. Just imagine…we are part of a team that is building a bridge to span the chasm between humanity and unseen helpers in the spiritual realm. Hands reach out from behind the veil to help those with newly-blossoming soul awareness and open hearts to walk joyfully toward a better life. We walk together with wide-eyed wonder and childlike awe as unfathomable beauty unfolds before us, and we sense a magnetic vibration drawing us toward our destination.
I ask myself what thoughts I have harbored that stood in the way of my willingness to cross the bridge. What took so long? Why did I wait?”? My wondering is replaced with a sigh of relief, gratitude, and a sense of, “Oh, thank God—fear and darkness have been replaced by a world of light, love, harmony, peace, cooperation, balance, trust, and joy.
Each vision, each thought or imagining, no matter how great or small, will move us all one step closer to the dream. We are the designers, architects, and builders. We are fashioning a new world according to our own specifications, one mind at a time. The only building tools required are imagination, an unwavering belief in our ability as co-creators, and a desire to be a member of the team.
Sometimes, when I’m not exactly sure about what I want, it helps to figure out what I don’t. This morning provided a wonderful example along with a reminder that every experience contains a gift, no matter how painful at the time. I don’t want misunderstandings, self-doubt, hard feelings, unfriendly encounters or internal turmoil. I want peace, both inner and outer. As our world crumbles beneath us and serves up unfathomable pain and suffering, I imagine that many others feel the same way. The good news is: it’s within our purview and power to create anew.
Let us join forces and wait no longer. Let us don our creator hats and get busy in our minds creating the vision of a world we’d like to inhabit. Let us rejoice in the miracle that will happen when we realize that together we are a powerful force to be reckoned with. Join the Dream Team and together we will create miracles.
Happy 2023 everyone. May we raise our hearts and souls to a better year and a better world.
BEFORE YOU GO . . . If you’d like to explore more about helping to dream up a new reality, let’s talk! Meanwhile, you may enjoy a look at the websites below.
When I was in kicking around in utero, as the story goes, my father placed his hand on the growing bulk that was soon to become me and said, “Be gentle, Julia”, a name taken from the book he was reading at the time, Gentle Julia, by Booth Tarkington. Hence, my name—Julia.
That memory came to mind today as I was pondering the newest spiritual growth assignment that I have recently bestowed upon myself. It’s a biggie. I call it Willingness to Strengthen the Will. Cheech. It’s like quitting smoking, or giving up the wine habit. I want to, but do I really mean it? I mean really, really?
I do, but I don’t. Like anything worth working for, it will require great commitment and sacrifice, and I have to stop and ask myself if the reward is worth the effort. Throughout the decades of my life, I have learned that when the do becomes stronger than the don’t, then a modicum of willingness creeps in, and I become willing to begin to consider the possibility of taking a leap and making the change. I am happy to report that as of today, the do‘s outweigh the don’t‘s and I am ready. It only took an entire lifetime to get to this point of readiness but finally, here I am. And let’s face it—I’m no spring chicken.
What caused me to turn the corner into willingness? I realized that the final curtain is coming down and when it does, I want to know that I have done everything in my power while I am still here to finish whatever it is that I came here to do. I may not get it done completely before I go, but I can give it my best shot, and at the very least get a head start for the next time around. This is a job that may require more than one lifetime, but I need to start somewhere, right?
When I say that this is a biggie, I mean, this is really a biggie. For one who has spent a lifetime wrestling with procrastination, distraction and lack of focus topped by a probable case of undiagnosed, untreated ADD, strengthening the will is indeed an act of will.
It’s not like I can tap a magic wand on my head and proclaim myself strong-willed. I can’t suddenly go cold turkey on procrastination and distraction the way I did with smoking and my daily wine habit. I’ve tried it before, and it didn’t work. I’d give it my best shot, invariably flunk, and wind up feeling guilty for my failure. Then I’d sink back into my old ways of inaction, or doing what I shouldn’t, or whatever else added to my waning sense of self-worth. It can be a lot easier to judge oneself than to be kind, gentle, and forgiving of one’s own human frailty.
Maybe it’s something in the stars, or a growing awareness that the old way of the world is dying and a new one is emerging. Life is changing before my very eyes, and the good news is that I have an opportunity to change along with it.
What’s different now? Desire, purpose, motivation, and an intention to get there from here. Rome wasn’t built in a day and unrealistic expectations lead to discouragement and failure. Now finally, a strong intention for strengthening the will has started the wheels turning, and off I go, off into a new and exciting world of seeing how life looks when a choice is made between serving the personal will vs. the serving will of the soul.
This time I will live up to my name and be gentle with myself. I will be kind and forgiving and allow for stumbles and falls, and remember that I am a work in progress. I will know that like a child, I am being helped and guided and loved each step along the way and that in the end, I will make it in spite of my human frailties and foibles.
We are here to learn, to grow, to use this life experience to find the best within ourselves. It is a rocky road, but in the long run it is the only road worth traveling, because in the end the reward is unparalleled joy. The best way that I know about how to get there from here is to wake up and see the light of a new day, a new dawn, a new world. Intention, motivation, purpose and desire are the ingredients of the fuel that will propel me to where I want to go.
I’m not there yet, but I’m making good progress. I’m learning that trying to force myself into compliance will result in failure, and that allowance is the key that unlocks the door to success. Allowance is kind, gentle, forgiving. It arrives packaged in grace and leaves room for stumbles, lapses in judgment, and momentary setbacks. Allowance gently leads us by the hand, helps us to make conscious decisions, and reminds us to ask for the help we need to get us to our destination.
I have a feeling that as time goes by, there will be a lot more to say about my adventures in Will Strengthening 101, so stay tuned . . . Meanwhile, note to self: be gentle, Julia. And thanks to my father for giving me a name that reminds me to be gentle not just to myself, but to all.
Before you go—
If you could use a little drink from the fountain of love in the midst of a world of fear, you might enjoy a look at A Tree of Light website. It is an inspiration and oasis for the soul.
You may also find a bit of inspiration and humor in Voices, a book full of my tales of woe and triumphs in my travels on the road to enlightenment.
Uh oh—I’ve caught myself red-handed in the act of doing it again. I succumbed to the avoidance of all things unpleasant by escaping into Netflix instead of doing something worthwhile with myself, like picking up a book or a pen, or helping a friend in need. Darn. Is that because there is so much unpleasantry swirling around these days that I’m desperate for an escape route to help block out the misery? Well, at least I haven’t sunk low enough to get caught up in watching a continuing plethora of depressing news. Thank goodness for that
A blog by Donna Guillemette, Learning Discernment – A Crucial Skill, inspired me to stop and look at my recent failure and listen to my inner guidance. It’s hard to listen to my gut with headphones blaring external noise in my ears. There is a Voice in my head that says, “This isn’t the best use of your time.” Right. I know that. But I ignore it and turn up the volume on the headphones. I guess I’ll just keep on avoiding until I can’t stand it any more, or until I can no longer abide the idea that I’m wasting precious time on something that serves only to help me stay asleep. But still—who can blame anybody these days for wanting to do whatever it takes to avoid the ugliness going on in the world?
How many escape routes exist for our avoidance pleasure? Hmm—let me count the ways. Movies, addictive TV series, reading, food, partying, smoking, thumb sucking/space staring (my personal favorites), hobbies of all sorts, alcohol, drugs, gardening, exercising—you name it. There really isn’t any activity, no matter how apparently healthy or unhealthy, that cannot be used as an escape mechanism. Trust me, I know. I’ve employed darned near all of them throughout my decades on the planet. Oh—except physical things that risk bodily harm, like scuba diving, mountain climbing, parachuting, and hang gliding. I never said anything about not being a coward.
To quote a friend, “Anything worth doing is worth overdoing”. But when the “doing” reaches a level of becoming harmful to body, mind or spirit, it is time to wake up and listen to the whispers. My spirit is crying out for liberation from headphones and asks instead that I listen to the oh-so-trusty and reliable Voice in my head that speaks Truth in my ears. The whispers invite me to turn off Netflix, put down the remote, turn on the computer, and start writing again. My faithful Voice never scolds, admonishes, judges or threatens. It lovingly suggests. How I respond is up to me.
Today I finally decided to listen. This is the first blog that I have written in nearly two months. Why? Because I was in pause mode, wondering what I could possibly have to say that is new, different, or better than what anyone else has already said, or who knows more, or is more experienced, wiser, or smarter than I am. With libraries filled with thousands of volumes on the same subject, why bother? What I have to say hasn’t already been said hundreds of times before?
Again, my true-blue Voice speaks up and suggests that there are others who feel the same way I do, and would be comforted by knowing that they are not alone. As I exchange my TV remote for my computer mouse and write my Truth, perhaps others may find their way past what they believe is true in the world, and into the awareness that the only Truth that exists lies within the sanctity of their own soul.
Running away into the fake shelter that hides behind a TV screen does not provide the peace, happiness, and joy that can only be found within the quiet comfort of the soul. That sense of connectedness with my Self comes only when I step out from behind the screen and acknowledge that I need something more. I need to find my soul, and do whatever it takes to get myself back to the Truth within. Sometimes “whatever it takes” can be the start of a long inner journey that may seem daunting; it takes great courage and determination to set foot upon the path of personal growth, but the end result is worth the trip because a contented soul is the ultimate reward.
The following quote from Facebook (apologies to the unknown author for lack of acknowledgement) says it all: “I am not a body, I am not this skin. I am the soul that lives within.”
The journey to the soul gives new meaning to the phrase, “Wake up and smell the roses.” As each new soul awakens, a new petal of the rose unfolds and the world becomes a more beautiful place for all.
The world is awaiting the call of your soul. Please listen to the whispers, wake up, and bloom into the beautiful Self that you truly are. There is a galaxy of souls cheering you on and supporting you on your journey.
A sanctuary for my soul is A Tree of Light http://atreeoflight.org, and your soul might enjoy a browse through my soul-searching book, Voices:Who’s in Charge of the Committee in my Head? available on Amazon.
While searching through the morass of my computer files, I accidentally stumbled across a piece of writing that I did in 2005 BC (before Covid). Having come upon it again, I just couldn’t resist passing it on.
The scenario: It’s 11:00 a.m. on a Sunday morning in the busy Men’s Furnishings Department at Nordstrom. Customers are milling about waiting to be helped. The phone rings, I answer. Big Mistake. A woman starts in . . . (I give you HER end of the conversation only). Note: All caps indicates that she’s screaming.
FINALLY! Somebody answered the phone.
Do you still carry the Nordstrom tee shirts that are made in Canada?
That’s NOT what I asked. Can you go check?
What other brands do you carry?
Where are they made?
Are they combed cotton?
What else do you have?
What is Underarmor?
Are they thinner than the Nordstrom?
Read me the label.
What do you mean, microfiber?
Read me the part about breathability again.
What size is medium?
What size is large?
Is the Nordstrom thinner than the Calvin Klein?
Can you wait while I go get one to see what size I have?
Can you wait while I try it on to see if it fits?
NO! I CAN’T WAIT WHILE YOU ANSWER ANOTHER PHONE. I’VE BEEN TRYING TO GET THIS DONE FOR TWO DAYS AND NOBODY COULD DO IT YESTERDAY BECAUSE THEY WERE TOO BUSY. I DON’T WANT TO WAIT WHILE YOU TALK WITH SOMEBODY ELSE ON THE PHONE. I JUST WANT TO GET THIS DONE SO I CAN GET ON WITH ANOTHER PROJECT.
Are the Calvin Klein’s thinner than the Nordstrom?
Okay, I’ll take a package of the medium Nordstorm.
BUT LISTEN. THIS IS IMPORTANT.
Do NOT send me the package you scanned. You’ll have to scan one, then send me one that hasn’t been scanned because I can’t have anything that’s been scanned around me.
How do you ship them?
What service do you use?
Do NOT send it by mail. It has to be shipped, not mailed.
How long will it take?
Why will it take so long? Last time they came in a day.
How much is shipping?
Why is it so much? Last time it was only $3.00. Why is it so expensive? I don’t want to pay more than $3.00 because that’s what I paid the last time.
What is the total?
NO. I WANT TO KNOW NOW. I CAN’T WAIT FOR YOU TO CALL ME BACK. I JUST WANT TO GET THIS DONE SO I CAN GO ON TO ANOTHER PROJECT.
When will you call me back?
You’ll call me back in 10 minutes?
LISTEN. THIS IS IMPORTANT.
Do NOT ship in a mailing envelope. It HAS to be shipped in a box.
Ship it signature required.
When will it arrive?
Her charge doesn’t go through.
I have an incorrect phone number, so I can’t call her back. AAAARRRRRRGGGGGGG! Is this a test?
Obviously, she doesn’t get the shirts.
She calls the store manager a few days later and goes through the entire routine with him. I forgot to void the original transaction so she gets charged twice
Fortunately, I kept all of the paper work.
She calls the manager again. In frustration equal to mine, he ends up wiping both charges from her account and sends her shirts are free.
Next year, she’ll probably call again and expect more free shirts and free shipping. I hope to God that I‘m not the one who answers the phone when she does.
Lest I forget, I go home and write the experience while it’s still fresh in my mind. The next morning, I showed it to a colleague. She asked for a copy to for her husband to read so that he’ll understand the sort of thing that we have put up with around here . . .
It isn’t always easy to face the fears of others in the face of our own, particularly during these exceptionally difficult times in which we live. Daily, we must choose between right and wrong, and decide how to behave under confusing circumstances that demand our attention. In the long run, it all boils down simply to one choice only: will I act in love, acceptance, and forgiveness, or will I allow judgment, fear, and anger to rule my mind?
Tee Shirt Lady surely did try my patience on that busy Sunday morning years ago. If this entire scenario occurred BEFORE Covid, can you imagine what in Heaven’s name those in the service industry must have to endure AFTER Covid? Pray for them and be kind. They need all of the love they can get. Don’t we all?