The Bridge from Then to Now

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There was a time when I thought it might be kind of fun to be a columnist.  It was an intriguing notion, but there seemed to be just one little problem.  It turns out that it was me.  Imagine that!

The problem was that I had this idea that there was no way that I could ever, in my wildest dreams or imagination possibly conjure up the wherewithal, the way, the wits, determination, self-discipline, the inspiration, the creativity to crank out a column on a regular basis.  Oh, the pressure!  The very thought scared me to death.  No sir.  No column for me.  I packed that thought away and slipped it into the recesses of memory along with all of my other fanciful dreams and aspirations.  But that was then.

And this is now.  Today, I am awake at o’dark thirty, sitting with my trusty computer on my lap cranking out a blog for the 37th day in a row, sorting through a never ending flow of words, possibilities, and ideas that compete to show up on the page.

This is a stunning turn of events.  However in the world did such a thing happen, I wonder?

What have I learned between then and now?  What has changed?  I guess it’s me.  Wait—what am I saying?  Of course it’s me.

There are about 200 more words left to write before I close the computer clamshell on today’s blog.  How can I answer such a profound question in so few words?  How do you cram a lifetime of personal growth in a couple of hundred of words or less?

If I had to put it in a word—literally, one word—it would be listen.  Or maybe three words—listen, listen, listen.

I have always known that there is a still, small, quiet Voice within that is a whole lot smarter than I am.  A spirit, a soul, a guide, or whatever one may want to call it.

But like a stubborn teenager, I have rebelled and refused to listen.  I have gone off on merry toots thinking that I knew what’s right, good, and best for me, until I fall flat on my face and realize that maybe I was wrong.  The prodigal daughter surrenders and returns—at least for a while, until the next time.  But the voice waits patiently, ever there, to forgive and embrace me as I reenter the fold and  I repent, sorry to have so rudely kept this kind helper waiting for me to get over myself.  Countless times, I have left the fold, made my mistakes, then returned home.

Finally, finally, I have learned the wisdom of listening to the Voice that is a whole lot smarter than I am, the Voice that tells me the Truth about me, rather than the lies I tell to myself, the Voice that says yes you can instead of the one that says no you can’t.

Somehow through my years of trial and error, of listening and not, I have crossed the bridge between then and now and finally landed here in my Lazygirl writing the 37th blog du jour.  Who would have thought?

If I had it to do all over again, I would have listened more.  Listened sooner.  Listened to the Voice that knows a whole lot more about me than I do.  I highly recommend it.  It will take you to better places than you can ever imagine for yourself.

Note:  The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. (newwavesoflight.org or NWOL.us).

Voices of Wisdom Within

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This morning while I was lying awake, I heard a male voice softly call my name.

It got my attention and I answered.  Yes?

No answer.   I was disappointed.  I wanted more.  I wanted a replay of the full-blown conversation that occurred years ago as I drifted between wakefulness and sleep.

I was a captivated participant in a profound conversation that was going on in my head between myself and an unseen male voice.  He was a wise teacher; I was a naïve student asking kindergarten-level questions.  Even in my naivety, I knew that I was privy to something very unique and very special.

I awoke with a sense of awe, feeling unconditionally loved by an unseen being who knew my name and cared enough about me to pay a personal visit and take me under his wing to teach me for a while.  Though I vividly remembered the event, I had no recollection of the words exchanged.  What stood out above all else was that this unseen being was patient, kind, understanding, gentle, and loving.  He never responded to my simple, childlike questions in a way that made me feel small, insignificant, or stupid.  I was treated with great respect and dignity in spite of my naivety.

Both the voice that softly called my name today, and the one who was my teacher so many years ago were clearly audible.  The “reality” of those voices lends credibility to the words, and makes me yearn to hear them more often, more clearly.  Maybe someday.

Meanwhile, I must rely on the unspoken words that come to me by way of impression rather than expression.  Clearly, I am still a student, still in a classroom where I must acquire the  ability to discern the differences between the many voices of the personality and the Truth within myself.  It is a trial and error process.  Sometimes I get it right.  Sometimes I don’t.  But always, I get to repeat the class until I ace the course.

This morning’s voice was a welcome reminder that we are blessed to have wise teachers as guides, Elder Brothers who have graduated before us and moved on to higher realms.  Perhaps it is such a one who called my name, ready to hand me another assignment.

Today I realize that today’s assignment is that I must remain calm and stay strong in the eye of storm and reach out and grab ahold of a hand that will help me stand steady amidst the turmoil.  As I reach out for help, I must also reach out to another, the one behind who struggles to keep up.

Who is this that calls me by name?  Perhaps it is the voice of God, or the Soul, or Spirit, or Jesus, or the Higher Self.  Whatever the name, when it calls, will I answer?  Will you?

Note:  The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. (newwavesoflight.org or NWOL.us).

The Road to New Normal

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Oh my.  The day is half gone—well, not really—it’s only 8:35 am but I’ve been up since 5:30 frittering away time.  Well, not frittering, exactly—it’s been productive, but still—even in spite of still being confined at home, the hours seem to cave in on me and before I know it, the day is over and I’m left wondering where it all went.

It’s a funny thing—before I retired and hung up my working duds for the very last time, I was really concerned about how I would keep myself busy for 20 or 30 years without a job to keep me occupied.    Oh, silly me—what did I know?  Whoever said that “life is alike a roll of toilet paper—the closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes” got it right.  The faster I run the farther behind I get, even with nowhere to go.

So much to do, so little time.  When the world reopens and we’re living our new normal life, how will I be?  Will I lunge back out there again in the hustle and bustle of it all, running around like a rat in a maze searching for the cheese? Or will I be sitting at home in my Lazygirl sucking my thumb hoping to never leave home again?  Is there a balance somewhere in between?  I don’t have a clue about any of that yet, but it behooves me to figure it out soon because someday the world will be open again, and when that happens, I want to have a game plan.

This at-home time has brought me the awareness that if I don’t “do lunch” with friends several times a week, I won’t die from it.  The world will not end if I have to get in the kitchen and cook a meal for myself.  I don’t have to answer the phone every time it rings, or respond instantly to the emails that flood my inbox.  If I run out of eggs or butter, I’ll make do.  Toilet paper and coffee—well, that’s another story.

I want to crank up the energy to do the stuff that I’ve been putting off by using the too-busy­ excuse.  I want to find the balance between writing a daily blog while also getting a grip on the rest of my life.  I catch myself in the act of wasting precious time and I don’t want to do that anymore.  I want more paper on the roll, I want to expand time.  I want to increase focus on doing what is good for me—exercise, eating a proper diet, meditating, resolving to strive for a higher and higher awareness all things spiritual.

I want to resign from the world of perpetual doing and move into a state of beingness because out of that glorious state of being, time expands and the doing becomes effortless.

So that’s my story.  How are you doing?  Have you figured it out yet?

Note:  The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. (newwavesoflight.org or NWOL.us).

Follow the Light of Your Heart

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Most every family has a member who is different, one who is misunderstood—the oddball, the black sheep, the one who never quite fit into the mold laid out by the generations that went before it.  In my family, I was and it.  My fellow members of the oddball club know what I’m talking about.  It’s not an easy role, but somebody’s got to do it.

As I reached young adulthood, it became quite clear to me that the traditional Christianity in which I had been raised was not my path.  Please understand that I do love God and I do love Jesus the Christ, and though I deeply honor and respect the value of Christianity, it is simply not the right one for me.  But what is?

This question led me to conduct a little survey in which I asked about 30 people if they thought they had a soul.  The answers were equally divided among yes, no, or I don’t know—what’s your definition of the soul?  To the soulless, I asked what they thought would become of them when they died.  Squish.  Just like a little ant.  The lights go out.

The third answer sent me further into my self-quest.  What is my definition of a soul?

The question unveiled layers of deeper issues to ponder.  My need to define soul in a way that makes sense to me is similar to trying to define God and seeking to discern the difference between personality and ego.  What’s true?  Where do I fit in?

Today, if I repeated the same survey and replaced the word soul with heart, of course those 30 people would say yes.  They may even agree that the same physical heart that keeps them alive also registers the profound feelings and emotions that guide them in determining what lies in their best interest, if they will choose to listen.  That sounds a bit like the job of a soul, doesn’t it?

Though I imagine students of  theology and esotericism may heartily disagree, I have boiled down my definition of soul to a one-word definition that works for me.  That word is heart.   Ahh.

My heart sustains my life on this earth.  My heart knows what is best for me.  It is the container for the all-pervading love of God, the seat of wisdom that leads, guides, and protects me.  It lights my way as I travel along the quagmire of a confusing return path to my spiritual home.  It is my human connection to the Divine.  Hmm.  Could heart and soul be one and the same?

Finally, here’s what my heart knows beyond a shadow of a doubt.  Though we may travel upon different paths along the way, we will meet at the end of the road and rejoice in the Lord that we have each finally found our way to our True Home.  Hallalujah!

Meanwhile, I hope to meet a few other oddballs to keep me company in my travels.  My definition of oddball:  World-serving, light-working, kindred-spirits in love with the world and all of humanity.

Note:  The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. (newwavesoflight.org or NWOL.us).

 

Am I Dreaming?

 

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I love to ponder the question of reality.  As I sit with fingers poised on the keys of my laptop with my feet resting comfortably on an ottoman, I savor the sensory pleasures of a steaming hot cup of coffee, sunlight that warms my toes through the window, and the whiff of Spring in the air.  It’s all very tangible, very real, very comfy.

When I go to sleep tonight, the laptop, keyboard, and ottoman will all disappear.  They will simply vanish into the ethers.  Poof.  Gone.  Suddenly my daytime reality will slip away and I will live a different dream, one that is as real as the one with the laptop, sunshine, and coffee.

Sometimes my nighttime dreams are so real, so tangible, that when I try to start conversations with friends or relatives who played a starring role, I am met with a look of disbelief and told that such an event never happened.  It was only a dream.  Or maybe a nightmare.  Really?  Who knew?  Am I crazy?  Maybe.

As I try to discern the difference between real and unreal, another question comes to mind.  When I take my final breath and leave this world, will I awaken into yet another dream and find that this life, this so-called reality that I am currently living will vanish and be nothing more than the vague memory of a fleeting dream?  Will I awaken from one imaginary world and find myself in another—one that is more tangible to me than this one is now?  Or will I find myself sound asleep in a black hole in space?

These are heady questions indeed, but so worth pondering.  I can see that a reader might get lost in all of this talk of dreaming, as I sometimes lose myself in living life amidst the confusion of all of my own dreams.

A lucid dreamer has the ability to change the course of a nighttime dream while it is still in progress.  This is a learned skill, one that I have not yet mastered—but I’m working on it.  In my awake daytime dreams, I call it making in-flight corrections.

Though I may still be in kindergarten with my lucid nighttime dreaming skills, I am making good progress in my effort learn how to turn my current daytime dream—or lifetime, or reality, or whatever one may wish to call it— into happy dreams of love rather than unwelcome nightmares of fear.

I can alter the direction of my world and the world at large by choosing and changing the direction of my thoughts.  I can fill my head with visions of a beautiful harmonious, new world populated by characters who share a common dream of love, of people who know the Truth, who dream the same dream, who believe in the same reality—a reality of a new Heaven on earth.  Oh how I long for the day . . .  we are so close.

Note:  The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. (newwavesoflight.org or NWOL.us).

The Power is in our Hands

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I read something recently that sent me off on a round of what if thinking.  I love what if’s.

What if we obsessed about the good stuff about ourselves and the world instead of the not so good?  Whoa.  Now there’s some juicy food for thought.

How many times a day do we decide how we feel about ourselves?  How often do we obsess about our shortcomings, mistakes, wrong turns, and the poor decisions that reap unfortunate consequences?  What if we stopped all of the self-defeating nonsense and obsessed about the good stuff instead of the not so good?

Years ago, a homeless man with the helmet and placard gave me an important message (If We Can Dream It, We Can Build It).  Odd though he was, he was a harbinger of truth.  He told me two things I need to remember: stop listening to my own negative thoughts, and stop listening to the negative thoughts of others.

We as a collective humanity are being bombarded mercilessly by the ceaseless, unrelenting proclamations of the bad news heaped upon us, both by ourselves and by the media—the same media that is owned, operated, and controlled by gigantic, powerful conglomerates that dictate what news we are to be fed, those who seem intent upon brainwashing us with fear for profit, and that invade our sanity with images of gun wielding extremists who frighten us into thinking that their intention of claiming their human rights at the expense of the rest of us will drag us into a civil war.

We need to stop listening.  We need to change the channel.  We need to stop subjecting ourselves to brutal fear mongering and turn our focus to stories of good news instead, such as the owner of the high-end restaurant, Eleven Madison Park in New York, who converted his business from feeding the fortunate few who can afford it, to feeding the needy through a nonprofit organization that serves leftover restaurant food to those in need.

What if we stopped watching and listening to the news?  What if we sent a message that we will no longer support fear mongering by subjecting ourselves to negativity?  What if we demanded good news instead?  What if we took our power back and called the media to task for their actions and the role they play in keeping our nerves jangled and our hearts aflutter?

What if we stopped all of the self-defeating negativity about ourselves and the world, and obsessed about the good stuff instead?  What if we replaced our bad-news cravings with a desire for upliftment?  What if we realize that as we let go of fear, fear will let go of us.

We have the power.  We can claim it.  Will we?  I will.  Will you?

Note:  The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. (newwavesoflight.org or NWOL.us).

 

 

 

 

 

Are You in the Audience?

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If you ask me what I am grateful for today, I have a one word answer.  It’s you.

Yes, youYou who are taking the time to read these words, you who are consistent faithful readers, you who are fellow bloggers whom I’ve never met, you who are friends and family I know so well, you who write comments and push the Follow and Like buttons.  Yes.  It’s youyou who I think about every day with great gratitude in my heart for just being here, you who forgive my misuse of who and whom’s.

Writing is a solitary job.  It often feels as if I am sitting blindfolded on a dark stage playing to an unseen audience who sit in chairs wondering what to expect and why they came.  As I send work out into the blogosphere headed toward unknown destinations, it is impossible to know if anyone is out there reading.  Push the button, let the chips fall where they may, let the results be whatever they are.

Artists have an advantage over writers, because works of art require only a momentary glance to be appreciated, but for writers, it’s different.  Reading requires an investment of  time, energy, and effort.  For this reason, I am all the more grateful to you for your willingness to sit and read, rather than glance and walk away.

I can only guess at your motive for reading.  Perhaps it is because you are a loyal friend offering support and encouragement.  Or perhaps you are a fellow blogger in search of food to fuel the fire of your own inner passion.  Or perhaps you resonate with some of my life experiences because they are similar to your own.

Perhaps like me, you have a desire to transform your world and your life into something better, to join in consciousness to create a mighty force of love to move higher up the ladder toward a vision of yourself and of a new world.  Or perhaps you are drawn for a multiplicity of reasons obscure to your conscious mind.  Perhaps. Perhaps not. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

I love you guys.  I hope that you will drop by and say hi once in awhile by pressing the Follow or Like button or share your thoughts in the comments section.  Be forewarned—it can take a bit of determination and perseverance to comment on WordPress, but then, isn’t life just like that sometimes?

If you’re looking for a bottom line, here it is: you feed my soul.  Your presence fills up the black hole of space in an auditorium full of empty seats.  I truly, truly do appreciate you and I offer silent blessings when I know that you’ve stopped by for a read.

As a small girl once said to her amused audience when she accepted a grand award, “I thank you from my bottom to my top.”  Well said.

Note:  The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. (newwavesoflight.org or NWOL.us).