Just Imagine

 

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Hmmm.  Day 748 of the virus shut-down and as each day passes the stack of stuff on my desk gets taller.  Yesterday I was going to tackle it right after I posted daily Voices.  Well, that didn’t happen, did it?

And why is that?

Well, my car died in the garage.  My friends Heather and Jim jump-started it and off we went to the dealer for a new battery and regular service, which of course required a return trip for pick up.  (Hint: it pays to start your car before 748 days roll by.)  Then there was a walk, a nap, and excessive trips to the kitchen for exercises in refrigerator foraging. Beyond that, I can’t remember.  If we all get out of this thing without becoming raging alcoholics, obsessive germaphobes, or the size of a blimp we’ll be on top of the game.

I just read a post by Tony Bologna (love the name) that talks about his fear of wasting time.  Not me.  I’m good at it—in fact, it’s what I do best.  Practice is the key.  Even as a child, I remember sitting idly on the back porch staring out into the space above neighboring rooftops and hanging out with myself just being.  It was glorious then, and it hasn’t lost its magic.  Maybe that’s what I was doing yesterday that I can’t remember.  Maybe I just zoned out on the world for a while.

On one hand, I might call it procrastination—another one of my strong points.  On the other, it could just be a matter of allowing my mind to drift off into the ethers where imagination lives, to a place where creation takes place and thoughts can be played out in the mind and possibilities explored, where futures can be written and rewritten based upon what feels like the best option, and where the mind can be used to heal, forgive, bless, and love.

So maybe I’ll get to that nagging stack of paper today before it topples over and buries me alive, or maybe not.  Maybe I’ll get to those phone calls that I’ve promised myself that I would make, or maybe not.  Recently, I’ve been hearing a lot of folks mumble about feeling lazy during this time, and putting off what doesn’t have to be done today because we seem to have a whole lot of tomorrows waiting in store.  Maybe not.

Maybe this is the perfect time to set aside the gotta-do’s and sit on the back porch and dream a while.  Dream of the possibilities.  Dream about how to create a new and better world, not just for yourself but for all of us.  Dream about what it would be like to live in a peaceful world where love is the leader and harmony rules.  What better moment than this to just sit, think, and dream up a new and vastly improved world?  As it is my assignment to write daily, perhaps it is also our joint assignment to write a new future for ourselves.  We have it in us.  We need only do it.

There really is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and it’s waiting for us to claim it.  So what say you?  Are you in?  Can you be counted on to help rewrite the future and dream up a new world?  Can you just imagine such a thing?  I hope so, because, let’s face it, we need all the help we can get.  You and your thoughts matter!

 

What’s in a Lifetime?

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It’s 7:35 a.m. and I’d like to push the publish button by 9:00 a.m. so I can start the day by attacking the stack of papers that grow in the night and taunt me in the morning.  Is anyone else experiencing a bout of laziness and/or procrastination during these days as shut-in’s, or is it just me?

If you’ve been following along for the past several days, you may have noticed a thread of self-doubt running through the pages.  Me too, and do you know what?  I’m sick of it.  Enough already.  It’s old news, it’s boring, and it’s time to move on to lighter and brighter things.

Okay, I’m struggling here.  Why isn’t this easy?  What am I doing wrong?  If this is an assignment and I’m willing to do it, why is it so hard?  You know me—I always want everything to be easy.  Easy suits my lazy nature.

The clock is ticking and I’m nowhere near completion.  Whoa.  Now there’s a profound statement if ever I heard one!  Will life run out before I’m finished?  It’s enough to poke me in the derriere with a hat pin and get me moving post haste.

Dear one, no one said that it would be easy.  Anything worth doing, being, or having is earned by virtue of the willingness to apply oneself to the task at hand.  For some that is easier than others, based upon the soul qualities that one chooses to work on at any given time.

Yes, well willingness is one thing.  Application is another.  In my case, I’m loaded with willingness, but I have the attention span of a gnat.

We beg to differ.  You may think that your attention is limited, but We would like you to review what you have accomplished during the course of your lifetime.  By keeping your eye upon the donut, as you like to say, you have marched steadily toward the achievement of your goals and desires, even though at times you may think otherwise.  Your evolutionary journey toward enlightenment is furthered by your willingness to accept this assignment.  We know that it is not easy, and it is not comfortable.  We have asked and you have answered, and for that We are grateful.  From your limited perspective it would appear that progress has been slow to the point of being imperceptible, but viewed from a distance We see you standing strong amidst the growing cadre of global lightworkers.  Hold the torch high to help light the path for others who struggle to find their way out of the dark.  This, indeed, is your assignment, and We thank you for your acceptance of it.

No, thank You, and you are welcome.  And thank You that it’s 8:42 and I think that I’m finished.  Well, at least for today.  A lifetime is another story.

 

The Zig Zag Path to Enlightenment

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Good morning my Friends.  I seem to be having a challenging time getting my writing act together this morning.  Too many choices, too many possible directions.  Aborted starts and stops, headed somewhere, going nowhere.  Come to think of it, that sounds as bit like my life, doesn’t it?

It sounds quite a lot like your life, and like many others, We might add.

Shakespeare got it right when he said that all the world’s a stage and all the men and women merely players.  So true. So many roles, so many parts, so many characters.

Recently someone asked about my career.  That’s a tough question and the answer is elusive because I never really had a well-defined career path.  I just kind of zig-zagged my way through life selling whatever came along that I believed in enough to sell.  I usually lasted for about six years in each venture, and like a butterfly that sucked the essence out of each flower, I moved on to the next available role as soon as the essence had been extracted.  I didn’t exactly appear to be the pinnacle of stability.  In my defense I will say that my references were always outstanding—except for my three-month three-month stint selling prearranged funerals.  That was the pits and earned me my first and only mutual bye-bye experience.  Always in each role though, there was learning to be done, skills to hone, a craft to master.  Juicy essence indeed.

Though “Flaky” may have been my middle name, there were three constants that were the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, three passions that moved me forward on the path in spite of occasional zig-zags and side trips on my disjointed career path.   Whatever the job du jour, I always kept my eye upon the donut and not upon the hole.  The donut was writing, cheerleading, and the search for enlightenment, not necessarily in that order.

There are so many roads to travel, so many choices, so many options to explore, so many possibilities, each one with its own set of consequences, with its own unique outcome.  Which one to pursue?  Decisions, decisions.  Not always my strong suit.

Hmmm.  Maybe there’s a way to toss my three passions into a blender and have them come out as a delicious smoothie.  Or maybe I’m confusing the blender with the holy grail.

Huh. I started out quoting Shakespeare and now I’ve morphed into Donna Quixote.

Well my Friends, it seems I’ve done all the talking here.  I didn’t leave any room for You.  In closing, is there anything that you would like to say?

Indeed, we would.  We are delighted that you are choosing to do what makes you truly happy.  Your willingness to overcome your misgivings about your writing commitment is a major step up the ladder toward enlightenment.  It is an assignment, and you are fulfilling it.  That you are doing so makes Us happy.  You have our continuing love and support.

And that makes me happy.  Thank you for being my cheerleaders, dear Friends.

 

Practice, Practice, Practice

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Good morning.  We have been waiting for you.

Yes, I know.  I’m sorry.  I got distracted by emails again.  It is rude to keep You waiting.

We are always here with you, regardless of how long it takes you to join Us.  Your arrival time is up to you.  Each time you choose Us before all else serves to strengthen your will and moves you one step closer to the attainment of that which you desire.

I know, and before we go any farther here, I’d just like to take a minute to say thank you for always being there.  For always being there, regardless of whether I show up or not.  You wait for me no matter how long it takes, and I apologize whole heartedly for my dawdling ways.  I imagine that you have plenty of stuff to do other than sit around and wait for me all day, or all month, or all year.  So rude.

You are most welcome, dear one.  And you are worth the wait, though we will most certainly rejoice when self-discipline tops your list of most important qualities to achieve.

I’m working on it, but obviously I still have a way to go.  One foot in front of the other, one step at a time.

Is there something on your mind that you would like to talk about today?

Bunches.

Such as?

Such as making it through an entire night without stressing over what to write in the morning.  That was exciting.  I was also thinking about Bird by Bird, a wonderful little book that every aspiring writer should read.  It is written by one of my favorite authors, Anne Lamott, who mirrors my own behavior about seeking instant feedback from the submission of something that she wrote.  In her case, it’s running to the mailbox the day after dropping the manuscript of a new book in the mailbox, and for me, it’s checking emails a hundred times a day to see if there has been any response from a recent button-pushing publishing event.

You suggested yesterday that whatever anyone thinks of me or Voices is none of my business.  That bears repeating because it feels like a really important lesson for me—right up there with self-discipline, detachment, and letting go of the outcome.  Please keep reminding me that none of it is any of my business.  My business is just to write and push the publish button.  Spiritual practice.

Fleeting thoughts drift in and out of my head too swiftly to be captured.  Whatever it is or was that I thought I might write today went its own way without me.  It happens like that.  Sort of like life.  Sometimes it’s best to just let go, let it flow, and have faith that it’s fine exactly the way it is.

Chatting with My Self

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Well here we go again – another adventure into a moment of the unknown.  Blank page, blank mind, blinking cursor, can’t wait to see what’s coming my way.

May We suggest that you stop thinking and start writing?

That’s easy for you to say.

It’s easy for you to write.  Please continue.

Would love to.  No idea what to write about.

Anything.  Just write anything.

Hmmm.  Seems to me we have a little dé·jà vu here.  Been there, done that.  A bazillion times.

You’re stalling again.

Yes.  I am.  Trying to figure out what to write.

Overthinking is the enemy.  Just write.  We hear your censorship of thoughts, the continual evaluation of what is “safe” to say and what seems risky.  We realize that courage is required to bare one’s soul aloud, so to speak, and while doing so in private is one thing, it is quite another to speak publicly so that others may hear.  We understand your hesitancy to expose your innermost thoughts in light of the possibility of the judgment of others and the possible misperception of meaning.  And We see that you are stuck in overthinking again.  Would you care to have a word?

Sure, thanks.  (Note: blinking cursor marks stare-at-blank-screen time).  Yep.  Stalling again.

Why would that be?

Because there is so much to say and I don’t think that I want to say any of it?

And why would that be?

Well, You said it for me.  Fear of judgment and misperception.

Ah.  If you allow fear to stand as an obstacle to the fulfillment of purpose, you will fail before you begin.  Have you considered the possibility that it is not the fear of others that concerns you, but rather the fear of yourself?

Huh?  I don’t get it.

If you look back at your life, you may begin to discern that you are the one standing in the way of your own progress.  You are the one creating the fear that stops you in you in tracks.  You are the one who has allowed concern about what others might think to hide the truth of who you are from the world.  We know who you are.  You cannot hide from Us.  We invite you to quit hiding from yourself, and gather the courage to show yourself to the world.

Huh.  Yesterday, my friend Nancy gave me two words that helped me to put this whole scary daily writing adventure into perspective.  Spiritual Practice.  Odd that I never thought of it myself, but then, I don’t always see things as clearly as I’d like.  As I ask myself day after day why I have chosen to accept this assignment, it occurs to that though there are many reasons, one stands out among all others—at least for this moment—and that is to learn to delete “attachment to outcome” as an obstacle to doing what I am meant to do.  Whatever anyone may think, perceive, or judge about this little journey of mine is none of my business.  My job here is to simply do it and have faith that it’s all just exactly as it should be.

So there!!!  Now all I have to do now is muster up the courage to push the publish button.  Well, I always did enjoy pushing a button or two to see what happens . . .

So here we go—Wheeee!

Thank you Nancy.  Thank you God.

 

 

 

 

Becoming, Becoming, Becoming

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Photo by Magda Ehlers on Pexels.com

This conversation with someone else’s Self arrived by email late last night along with the question, “Did you write this?”   No, I did not write it, but I certainly wish that I had, because it’s brilliant.  I wanted to pass it along because it speaks volumes and is just too good to miss.  To the unknown author,—whoever you are—kudos to you, and thank you.

Me: Hey God.
God: Hello…..
Me: I’m falling apart. Can you put me back together?
God: I would rather not.
Me: Why?
God: Because you aren’t a puzzle.
Me: What about all of the pieces of my life that are falling down onto the ground?
God: Let them stay there for a while. They fell off for a reason. Take some time and decide if you need any of those pieces back.
Me: You don’t understand! I’m breaking down!
God: No – you don’t understand. You are breaking through. What you are feeling are just growing pains. You are shedding the things and the people in your life that are holding you back. You aren’t falling apart. You are falling into place. Relax. Take some deep breaths and allow those things you don’t need anymore to fall off of you. Quit holding onto the pieces that don’t fit you anymore. Let them fall off. Let them go.
Me: Once I start doing that, what will be left of me?
God: Only the very best pieces of you.
Me: I’m scared of changing.
God: I keep telling you – YOU AREN’T CHANGING!! YOU ARE BECOMING!
Me: Becoming who?
God: Becoming who I created you to be! A person of light and love and charity and hope and courage and joy and mercy and grace and compassion. I made you for more than the shallow pieces you have decided to adorn yourself with that you cling to with such greed and fear. Let those things fall off of you. I love you! Don’t change! Become! Become! Become! Become who I made you to be. I’m going to keep telling you this until you remember it.
Me: There goes another piece.
God: Yep. Let it be.
Me: So…I’m not broken?
God: No – but you are breaking like the dawn. It’s a new day. Become!!

What perfect timing for this message to appear, at a moment when the world is paused and offers us a glorious opportunity to withdraw and be still awhile.  How wonderful to be reminded that we are not broken, and that within each one of us there is a Voice that will guide us to the place deep within the soul where truth, beauty, and goodness reign.  Godspeed to all who venture forth upon this quest to become, become, become.  You are not alone.

 

Who is Speaking Please?

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Voices, voices, voices.  They come in many flavors, not all of them tasty nor appealing.  This morning they’re badgering me about writing so much about me, me, me, I, I, I, as if I am the most fascinating, fabulous creature whoever walked the face of the planet.

B-o-r-i-ng!  I mean, really.  Who cares?  Am I really so shallow that I have nothing to talk about other than myself?  Really, who cares?

Hey—this is kind of fun!

Could you expound upon that please?

Yeah.  It’s like the old days, the old Conversations, (A New Day is Dawning) when I’d just sit down and let ‘er rip, so to speak.  It was an exhilarating experience that gave me such a sense of freedom to just blabber on and on about whatever popped into my head at any given moment.  I couldn’t wait to get the fingers flying on the keyboard without censorship, editing, rewriting, or thought about what anyone might think.  Unless and until, of course, the idea of putting it out into the world popped into my mind.  Then I’d either freak out with fear of vulnerability or see myself featured on Oprah touting a best seller.  No in between.  Somewhere nestled between faith and fear, it was an incredibly wonderful tool that helped me sort through the tangle of voices that were in constant competition for my attention and for the control of my heart, head and mind.

Even better, I didn’t fret in the night and lose sleep over what to write about or what words were going to show up on the page.  Absent was the fear that I would let myself down by quitting in the middle of my assignment.  Now here I am, five days after my relaunched commitment, and that glorious sense of freedom has morphed into hard work, and I can’t say that I’m very happy about it.  Now, daily writing feels more like a chore and less like a joy.  It’s not the way I want to start a day and it’s not the what I want to look forward to for the rest of my life if I am to keep my commitment.  The idea of spending half of every day writing a blog is off-putting.  It would be so much better to just be able to incorporate it into my morning quiet time and be up about the rest of the day before the clock hits 9:00 am.  I want it to be easy.  I always want everything to be easy.  It suits my lazy nature.

So that’s it, folks.  That’s a tiny touch of Conversations for whatever it’s worth.  To quote the esteemed Forest Gump,  “. . . you never know what you’re gonna get.”  Neither do I.  But that’s the fun of it.

But here’s the thing—amidst the cacophony of voices that clamor for attention and control, there is ONE that will always have your best interest at heart.  The key to finding it is to be still, listen in the silence, and you will hear.

That said and before signing off today, I’d like to leave you with a question.  Did any of this bring to mind something worth pondering?   Any thoughts, questions, or ideas worth thinking about?  If so, I would love to hear from you in the comments section.

It’s 8:37 am and I’m ready to push the publish button.  It may not be perfect, but it is what it is.  Now that makes me happy.  Whatever makes you happy, do it, I say!

May your day be glorious and may the voices in your head be silent except the one that loves you unconditionally.

Note:  The beautiful image and meme above is courtesy of New Waves of Light (nwol.us).

Ask and It Shall Be Answered

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Today is another one of those “Oh yikes—what have I done to myself?” days.

This newly hatched scheme to write and publish a daily blog tests my mettle on more levels that I can even begin to imagine.  Quite frankly, it scares the breath right out of me and yet somewhere along the line, I have a sense that I made an agreement long ago that this is something that I must do.

And do it I will.  Long ago I learned that forever is a very long time, and that by the yard it’s hard, but by the inch it’s a cinch.  I’m going to just skip the forever-is-hard part because it’s scary and instead, I’ll stick with the one-day-at-a-time inch by inch plan.  Though I creep along at turtle speed, each step moves me one inch closer to the goal.  Patience is golden.

Why?  Why do I do these things to myself?  I guess I must think that I have something left to learn, or that I need to give myself an upgraded opportunity to move off the dime and trend upward on the spiral of personal evolution.

Whatever the reason, I vacillate between love and fear—I love the excitement, the exhilaration of stretching myself and striving to live up to my own expectations, and yet simultaneously scare myself to pieces at the thought of failure and letting myself down again.  Is this a test?  I’ve heard it said that it’s always easier if you know in advance that it’s a test.

The truth is, I’m never happier than when I am writing.  A commitment to a daily writing routine, though a stretch, bolsters my sense of connection with my spiritual Self, primes the pump of creativity to allow for a continuous flow of content, strengthens my will and self-discipline, builds self-confidence, and I can’t wait to find out whatever other gifts lie in store as I dig deeper.  As for motive, another story for another day.  So many more days.

It’s a journey and an adventure.  I never know what’s coming.  Sometimes it can be a little nerve wracking.  But it helps me to remember a quote from The Voice in A Night Without TV: “Write your own story.  Tell your own truth.  Say it like it is in your world and do not concern yourself with how it is perceived.  Judgment is not your job.  Your job is simply to write.

Have faith and trust the wisdom of your heart for it will never let you down.  Though it may not always be clear in the moment, in time you will know.  Have patience.  Be still and know.

Note:  The beautiful image and meme above is courtesy of New Waves of Light (nwol.us).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Who Are We?

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When I was a very young child, a puzzling question popped into my mind from out of the blue.  It was a question that I pondered for decades and was the one that started me on my quest to answer the eternal ‘Who am I’ and ‘why am I here’ questions.

While in the midst of playing with a friend from kindergarten one day, I found myself poking my little finger at her small body, and then back at my own asking, “Who is that in there?  And who is this in here?”  I continued the conversation in my head for a bit longer and more questions came to mind.  Why do you live with your family, and why do I live with mine?  Why are you you, and why am I me?  Heavy questions for a five-year old to ponder.

On my spiritual journey decades later, I received answers to my questions.  There is no “you” and there is no “me” because in Truth, we are all One joined in spirit and connected by the same Divine Source.

We are born into different life scenarios designed to provide opportunities for us to move toward our highest possible evolution. We arrive on the planet wrapped in individual bodies appearing to be separate, but beneath the wrappings of so many beautiful hues, the bottom line is that while on this earth, you are you, and I am me, but in Truth, we are We, and We are One.

In closing, a final thought about forgiveness comes to mind.  Whether it is yourself you forgive or another, forgiving one is the same as forgiving all for indeed, Oneness is all encompassing.

Blessings to One and All, dear brothers and sisters.

Note:  The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. (newwavesoflight.org or NWOL.us).   

My Computer My Self

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Photo by Markus Spiske temporausch.com on Pexels.com

To the casual observer, one might call my minimalistic living environment pristine.  What lurks behind closed doors, however, tells a very different story—one that I sincerely hope does not reflect a mirror image of the content of my mind.

Whenever I am struck by inspiration and courage to bravely venture into a closet or peek into the innards of my computer to clean something out, I am struck dumb by what I face.  Be it old writing or old clothing, the fire of my determination fades quickly into a sad little heap of dying embers and is quickly replaced by an overwhelming sense of hopelessness at the prospect of trying to make sense out of anything.

The possibilities are endless and stretch the limits of my decision-making ability to infinity and beyond.  To publish or delete?  To save or not save?  To sell or give away?   Will I ever wear it again?  Have I worn it in a year?  Does it need altering or editing?  Will anyone want to read it?  Is it any good? Do I like it?  Would anyone else like it?  Is it worth anything? Does it make any sense? Does it have any holes in it?  Well, you get the gist . . .

In a recent fit of “Let’s get organized” I courageously dug into some files from yesteryear, and yet again, I collapsed into a fit of overwhelm at my total and complete, utter lack of organization.  Stuff is spread hither, thither, and yon with little, if any hope of ever being brought together in one miniscule space of coherence and/or organization. If ever I have a hope of getting my act together, I’ll need at least another dozen lifetimes or so.

But I do want to start somewhere (wherever that is) so I tiptoed into my computer closet and gingerly emerged with a piece of writing from 2007, and again am bombarded with the questions.   What should I do with it?  Delete? Publish?  Save for later?  Well, maybe that’s not the best option—it has already been saved for twelve years.  Maybe the decision is just about making a decision.

Well, over a decade later, I’ve finally settled on a solution (some of us are a little slow you know). The decision is—ta dah—pluck one thing at a time out of the closet, and do something with it.

Turn it into a blog. Compile it into a book. Whatever.  It doesn’t matter.  Just DO it.  Maybe someday it will start to make sense, but at least for now, one step forward–even if it’s wrong–is better than no step at all.  Just one little tidbit dragged out of the dark and into the light, lightens and brightens my world because that’s one less bit of clutter to deal with tomorrow.

So what’s it gonna be? Today it’s going to be a blog until maybe some day in the future I can figure out how to get organized enough to turn it into a book.  The first chapter might be all about clutter.  I’m an expert, after all.  Meanwhile, till I get my act together, it’s one day and one piece at a time.  Maybe tomorrow or the next day that bit from 2007 will see the light of day.  Wish it luck.  And me too.

Onward and upward!  Out of the dark and into the light!