Hopes, Dreams, and Expectations

Okay, I confess—I am a little disappointed—a rather uncharacteristic feeling in the face of my usual Pollyanna worldview. Life on my planet is bass-ackwards. I recognize, of course, that my mild disappointment is but a drop in the ocean compared to current world events, but still—it’s my drop, my ocean, my planet. So in the overall scheme of things, my mini-discouragement doesn’t really matter very much, does it? Or does it?

So I ask myself—what is the source of this momentary dismay?

Well, my follow-up appointment on the status of my shattered patella dashed any hope of being sprung from the cumbersome knee mobilizer that I’ve been sleeping with and dragging around behind my walker for the past six weeks. Instead, I was sentenced to another six weeks of same old-same old. Bummer. The good news is that healing is much better than expected, surgery is off the table, and physical therapy can begin next week. Focus on the donut, Julia—not the hole.

Then, the dream of soaring sales of my newly released book, Voices: Who’s in Charge of the Committee in My Head, is—for the moment at least —nothing more than a mere pipe dream, but hope springs eternal. Perhaps reality manifests only when it receives a little help from the dreamer.

At the onset of my first six-week sentence in the Lazygirl, I had high hopes for a miraculous transformation from flawed human persona to heavenly angel with ginormous wings. Apparently, I slept through the first opportunity, so I have been given a second chance. That’s the thing with us humans, I figure. We are given endless second chances and opportunities to move ahead on our way toward miraculous transformation until we figure out how to get it right.

Some of us are simply slow learners. Well, I hope I get it right this time around so that I can be sprung from my knee trap and released back into the wild abandon that lives behind the wheel of my car. Meanwhile, I’ll do my best to do my best. I’ll attend to business, write blogs, dream dreams of healed knees and soaring book sales, and cross stuff off of my list of things to do—all the stuff that I promised myself I’d do during the first six weeks, but didn’t. Man, is that ever a long list.

Well, at least these are the things that I say I will do. But will I? Ah—therein lies the question. Can I be trusted to keep the promises that I make to myself? Have I followed up on my hopes and dreams in the past? If I fail to live up to my own expectations, will I become my own judge and jury, or will I simply become an observer and say, “Huh. Well would you look at that? Maybe there’s a better way to do it in the the next round.”

So again, my inner voice (the noisy one) launches into overdrive with questions that seem to defy answers. Does my disappointment really matter in the overall scheme of things? Do my thoughts and feelings make a difference in the world? Do my hopes, dreams, and expectations have an impact on my life, or on the lives of others? Where is the quiet Voice of Reason that has answers to these mysterious questions when I need It?

Oh, We are here, patiently awaiting your realization that you have wandered away for a spell. We know that you are aware of your wanderings, and that you have allowed distractions to lure you away from your inner being; We know that you feel as if you have disappointed yourself yet again. Your discouragement comes not from outer circumstances, but from within the part of you that yearns to reunite with your True Self. Your salvation will come when you realize that the only way for you to be sprung (to use your word) back into freedom is to reaffirm your commitment to doing those things which you know are in your own best interests, and in the best interests of the world.

In your wanderings, you have temporarily lost sight of your mission and purpose. We encourage you to reignite the flame of expectancy. So dear one, hope your hopes, and dream your dreams, and know that the power and energy of your True Self will fuel their manifestation. Coupled with faith, you cannot fail.  

Know that We love and support you; We stand behind you always; We are ever ready to be the wind beneath your wings as your soar toward the highest and best within yourself. You have as many opportunities as you will ever need to realize your True Self, and we joyfully await your arrival at the ultimate destination of the Soul.

Thank you, dear Friends, for helping me to reconnect with my Self. As I do so, it suddenly occurs to me that my one drop in the ocean does indeed affect the entire ocean. Meanwhile, should I become lost amidst the waves again, I trust that you will come and find me.

If the focus of my mind becomes the reality of my world, then what is it that I wish to manifest? Well for starters, how about an ocean of love?

That sounds like a mighty good place to start, right?

And by the way, I am happy to report that as I come to the end of a newly-written blog, yesterday’s disappointment has morphed into today’s gratitude for second chances. Six more weeks to manifest hopes and dreams. Hallelujah. Ground hog day lives on!

A final note from a reluctant author: self-promotion is the bane of this writer’s existence, but I’m going to do it anyway. After all, how else will hopes and dreams become reality if I’m afraid to give them a little push? So, here goes folks: Please check out my book on Amazon. Voices: Who’s in Charge of the Committee in My Head? For more information, see Something New is on the Way (October 31, 2021). I thank you so much!

 Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Note:  The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. (newwavesoflight.org or NWOL.us)

 

The Wisdom of the Wise

This morning when I sat down to close my eyes and rest in the quiet stillness of my soul for a while, my peaceful moment was rudely interrupted by the wayward contents of my mind.  That’s the ego for you—jump right in there to disturb the peace.  It can be quite disconcerting in my head sometimes.  

The mental assault stopped when I heeded the call to take a little vacation break from the ego-produced beliefs, assumptions, ideas, opinions, and perceptions that clutter up my mind.  It is a blessed relief to allow space for the truth to seep in, to make inroads into the density of a mind that thinks it knows it all and has all the answers.  Turn on the lights, open the floodgates, and voila—there it is—the naked truth.    

Oh but wait!  The truth might be my enemy.  What if I see something that I don’t want to see?  Something that I’ve been hiding from, running from, afraid of?  Oh no.  Not me.  I’m not willing to turn on the light.  Not just yet.  Maybe later.  Later is safe.  Later protects me from the naked unadulterated truth that might creep me out and scare the living bejeepers out of me.  

I’ll be the first to admit that staring in the eyeball of the bare naked truth can be frightening, like catching an unexpected glimpse of myself as I emerge dripping wet from a shower and see that my mother’s aged body has replaced my own.  I can hide it beneath layers of clothing, and I can disguise my flaws beneath a smiling face that belies the truth of who I think I am.   But at my core, I am not a body, any more than I am just a mind.  As I recently heard it said, I am not a body with a soul.  I am a soul with a body.

For those brave souls willing to dig deep enough to discern what is true, there is a conundrum. We won’t know the truth until we know what is false, and we won’t know what is false until we know what is true.  Truth will only become known when we are able to answer the call to drop the obstacles that stand in the way of our knowing: the ideas, opinions, perceptions and beliefs that lock us into a false reality of who we think we are, and what we believe to be true.  

One of the greatest roadblocks to peace of mind is our belief in the story that we were told as children about being guilty of having committed some vague, undefinable, heinous sin or other against God or ourselves or some unknown someone, and that punishment is a certain consequence of our wickedness.  Call it blasphemous, but I do not believe that a loving creator would jump start our lives with the word sinner stamped across our foreheads.  

Mistakes?  Sure, you bet!  Guilty as charged!  Sin?  No thank you. I claim my innocence.  God doesn’t make mistakes, but humans do, and we made a whopper when we decided to believe the story we were told that identifies us as sinners.   The day I gave up the idea that I am a sinner was the day that my world turned right side up.  Any creation of God is perfect exactly as created.  We aren’t broken.  We don’t need to be fixed.  Praise the Lord!

Where, when, and how do we gather the courage to turn on the light and begin the search for light when the dark is such a scary place?  With one inch and one toe at a time, perhaps?  Or by sky diving and bungee jumping into the wilds of the unknown?  Or by seeking to find a comfortable space somewhere in the middle?  Or waiting until life in the dark becomes so suffocating that a willingness to open the mind to a sliver of light creeps into consciousness?  It’s different for each one of us.  For me, it was a trickle of awareness sneaking into my consciousness quietly, like a gentle snowfall growing by millimeters of an inch, hour by hour, changing the landscape of life one day at a time, slowly, changing my life forever.

We’re all parked on the planet for a reason.  We each come equipped with an ingenious curriculum specifically tailored to our individual, specific need, designed to move us from one life lesson to another.  We are given carefully selected teachers and guidance counselors to help us through our life experiences and lead the way home.  They are infinitely patient, kind, wise, loving, and take our hand as we navigate the scary patches of the self-realization process.  If we are wise, we follow the carefully planned curriculum and listen carefully to their wise counsel.  

When the time is right and the student is ready, the light will go on and the journey toward home will begin, gently guided by wise teachers who know how to help us find the best within ourselves, the heart and soul of our being. In this, the adventure of a lifetime, the reward is the gift of an infinite supply of unbounding joy. Let the journey begin.

Note:  The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. (newwavesoflight.org or NWOL.us)

Friends in High Places

I went to visit my friend Cathy and her husband Bill, a hospice patient, in the final few hours of his life.  When I returned home after my visit, I texted Cathy and asked her to promise that she would call immediately when Bill passed into the unknown because I wanted to be sure that she would have a friend when she needed one.  Knowing Cathy, I would not hear from her if Bill departed in the wee hours of the morning because she would not want to disturb me, and does not like to impose.

At 5:15 am the following morning, I was awakened by the vibration of the Apple watch on my wrist.  The ringer on the phone was muted, as sometimes happens without my knowledge.  I jolted awake and thought “Oh my God—I wonder if that was Cathy.”   I squinted in the darkness to look at the face of the watch and without benefit of eyeglasses, I could see Cathy’s name on the face of the watch.  

I bolted out of bed and dashed into the other room to check my phone for a message.  There was no indication of a call—no voicemail, no missed call, no text.  Nothing.  I texted Cathy and asked if she had tried to call.  Her response was, “OMG no, but Bill passed away at 4:20 am.”

How did that happen?  Did her people call my people?   Are there people?  Did Bill announce to his escort that he wasn’t leaving until I got the message and would soon be there for Cathy?  Are there escorts?  Was this evidence of a soul connection to a loved one, or perhaps a reminder that we are connected with everyone on the planet?  Was it some sort of strange coincidence?  I don’t think so.

I have never doubted the presence of guardians, angels, helpers, friends in spirit, guides, and teachers, but how affirming to have the experience of a tap on the wrist to let me know that a friend is in need.  How comforting to know, sense, feel, and imagine that friends and helpers are near, present in real time, watching, guiding, helping, loving us even in spite of ourselves, even if we deny their existence, even when we do not listen, pay attention, or heed their guidance. 

I cannot imagine that there is one person alive today who has not had an otherworldly and amazingly unexplainable experience, perhaps gone unnoticed or written off as coincidence.  But sadly, many are asleep to the awareness of what exists beyond that which they see with their eyes, and they miss what the awakened see.  

I don’t want to miss anything!  I don’t want to sleepwalk through life and cheat myself out of seeing the wonder of all that enfolds and surrounds me.  Life is a treasure hunt and I intend to find what lies hidden in plain sight, placed there lovingly by those who encourage me in my quest of self-discovery.

I am grateful for all blessings no matter how great nor small—most especially for friends in high places–those who are always and ever there, by and on my side.  

Stay on the light side my friends, and set your sights on the miraculous that hides in plain sight for those with eyes to see.

Note:  The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. (newwavesoflight.org or NWOL.us)

The Happy Factor

Do you ever wake up in some sort of a vague funk and wonder why?  Me too.  Sometimes I go through half the day before I realize that the sun isn’t shining in River City, and that things aren’t quite the way I’d rather have them be.  If I’m lucky, the light dawns before the day ends and I have a chance to adjust the settings before my head hits the pillow for another night of sleep.

Today is one such day.  The good news is that I have come to this realization early in the day, with time enough to make in-flight corrections before I hit the feathers again tonight.  The other news is that sometimes that’s easier said than done.  Though I may recognize that the sun is hiding behind the clouds, I’m not always able to get past the shadow back into the light.

So I meditate.  I take a walk.  I have a little come-to-Jesus chat with myself until it finally hits me.  Ah—my happy factor is off.  Why is that, I wonder?

As a kid, I remember doing silly little experiments, like closing one eye and then the other to see how my perception of things would change.  Close the left eye and suddenly, half of my world disappears.  Close the right, and the view shifts to an entirely new scene.  If ten people witness an accident, they all see it from a different perspective.  

It occurs to me that this morning, I awakened in the shadow of a deep sadness related to the way things appear to be in the world, and an ominous feeling that what I am seeing is just the way things are and that there is no hope for change.  I am seeing what is wrong rather than what is right.  The view from that perspective is enough to drag even the sunniest of souls down into the doldrums.  That’s not a nice place to live.  It’s not even a nice place to visit.

Nope.  Now that I’ve realized it, I’m not buying into it.  But then the question becomes, “Yeah, but how do I get myself out of it?  I invite myself to check the level of my happy factor.  On a scale of one to ten, I’m about a four.  Oops.  That’s not a great number.  So how do I pump myself up?  Well, I can meditate, take a walk, or have another come-to-Jesus chat with myself, but if that doesn’t work, then what?

Oh, right!  I can ask for help.  So often I forget that I have the capability to check into a part of myself that is so much wiser than the me that I think that I am.  Why do I keep forgetting that?  Just the simple thought that I have such a powerful resource within me comforts me and automatically raises my happy factor level up a few of notches.  And so I ask, then I sit back and wait, grateful in the knowledge that because I have asked, I will be answered.  Help is on the way.  I close my eyes on a shadowed world and when I open them the sun is shining again.

I have always found that asking for help is the magic elixir that soothes the soul and solves all problems.  Now if I can just remember to remember . . .

May sunshine spread light in your heart today and every day.

Note:  The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. (newwavesoflight.org or NWOL.us)

The Sound of Guidance

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I hopped into the car with my big bowl of fruit salad and headed off to into the countryside to enjoy a nice visit with family.  I had been forewarned of road closures and was well armed with careful instructions and my trusty GPS which soon gave out, leaving me with an ominous feeling of lostness along with a sense of mounting panic.

At a red light I saw my granddaughter hanging out of the passenger’s window of my daughter’s car frantically waving to get my attention.  Ahh. Saved.  They’ll know where we are going.  The light changed and off we go, but a white pickup truck wedged itself between the two of us, and while she raced ahead, he poked.  I had a few expletives deleted going on in my head as I willed him to hurry up, get out of my way, or disappear himself off on the next turn.  It didn’t happen.  He just stuck like a turtle on molasses while my daughter disappeared off into the distance.

Finally, things seemed to improve until we came upon an unexpected road closure and had to turn around and detour around the detour without any detour signs.  All of us had lost GPS as well as reliable phone communication.  Meanwhile, I still haven’t lost that $#$@#$ pickup.  By now it is obvious that we are all hopelessly lost on country roads and I have lost any hope that we will ever get where we’re going.

Then, miraculously, we come across another granddaughter who joins the caravan and leads us safely to our destination where we arrive over a half an hour late.  Damned white pickup is still with us.  We park, get out of our cars in various states of temperament ranging from anger to hysteria.  Mine was hysteria when I discovered that white-truck guy is my former son-in-law.  I’ve been mentally screaming at him, while he was mentally screaming at my daughter trying to tell her that she was going the wrong way.  Another family adventure to laugh about for years to come.

In my morning-after armchair recap, it occurs to me that sometimes I have gone along in life blindly putting my faith in a leader who is clueless.  Sometimes I turn my power over to another who I think might know more than I do, giving my authority away to someone who may not have the best interests of myself or others at heart.  Sometimes I place my misdirected anger at some poor unsuspecting soul who is just trying to get to his own destination while I am prodding from behind urging him to hurry up, willing him to go somewhere, anywhere to get out of my way.  Sometimes I make a lot of assumptions, make a lot of mistakes, and take a lot of wrong turns.

Too often in life I have placed my faith in external systems like GPS—a Global Positioning System—rather than in my own personal GPS—Guidance Protection Service.  In searching for a destination, my external system failed, but my internal system guided me to “accidentally” find my family caravan and arrive safely at our destination.

Let this be a lesson to me to relax, trust, and remember that even though I may think otherwise, I am never lost.  I am always guided and protected by loving Beings who do indeed have my best interests are heart and whose intention and purpose it is to guide me safely to my destination.   However in the world does one have enough gratitude to say thank you for such a blessing?

Note:  The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. (newwavesoflight.org or NWOL.us).