Stories I Tell Myself

Sometimes a day without a blog is like a day without my morning coffee fix.  This is one of them.  A couple of days ago I wrote a blog about kindness.  Today it may be about love but who knows?  If not today, then maybe tomorrow or the next day.

But no, today is about the fake news I tell myself.  This morning I caught myself asking how I would manage to check everything off my daily to-do list.  Christmas is snapping at my heels, there are letters to answer, a birthday present to deliver, a blog waiting to be written, phone calls to return, decisions to be made, business to handle, and the beat just on going.   How ever will I get it all done?  

Well I’ll just do the best I can.  Yeah, but my best could be a lot better.  Uh oh.  I can always be better but I’m not.  That’s a downer if ever there was one.  When will I ever be better?  How will I get there from here and how long will it take? Oh but wait just a minute . . .

Well, I’ll just do the best I can for now.  There may come a time when my best improves, but for today, my best is my best and I’m happy with that, because I know that I have time and room enough to grow into a better version of myself tomorrow.  Ahh.  Now I’m better!  

As a wise person once said to me, “If you could do any better, you would.”  We all would.  We just need to give ourselves the space to dream up a new and better version of ourselves, and in time we will wake up and be surprised that we have morphed into the person of our dreams.  It’s such a gradual process that we may not even recognize the change within ourselves until one day when we look back and say, “Wow!  I’ve come a long way, baby!”  Thank God for that.  And thank God for time, space, room, and a vision to grow into.

While we wait for the great morph event, it is tempting to fall into the guilty trap.  I’m a bad person.  I’m not living up to my potential.  Instead of doing what I should be doing, I’m doing what I shouldn’t.  Guilty, guilty, guilty.  Why is it that forgiveness is so much easier to give to another than to ourselves?  Why do we berate ourselves for our perceived sins and keep ourselves hanging on the guilty hook when we readily and willingly forgive others?  Isn’t God quick to forgive us as we are quick to forgive others?  And yet here we are, continuously hanging onto our perceived wrongdoings in an effort to punish ourselves for our so-called sins.  Oh, please.  

One of my favorite spiritual teachings from A Course in Miracles is that there is no need for forgiveness because we have not done anything wrong.  If we have not done anything wrong, there is nothing to be guilty about, nothing to punish ourselves for, nothing to keep us from experiencing ourselves as anything other than pure, unadulterated love.  It may sound blasphemous, but it is we ourselves who have made up the fake news that we tell ourselves, and who believe our delusions of wrongdoing.  We are the ones with the power to return ourselves to sanity simply by denying the self-created fake news, the part of ourselves that would have us believe that we are less than the Truth of who we are, which is love.

Identify not with the external, personality, ego self that you think you are for it is fake news.  Instead, love yourself as the beautiful soul that you truly are.  Can you even begin to imagine what it would be like to live in a world of a soul-identified humanity?  Just as we know that a toddler is destined to grow into an adult, so must we trust and know that day by day, soul by soul, we are changing and growing into the version of ourselves that we are meant to be and we have a front row seat.  Please join the parade of the newly-awakening so that one day we can take a collective look back, and say, “Wow!  We’ve come a long way, baby!”

Ahh.  There you have it.  This blog is about love after all.  It just didn’t quite take the form that I thought it might.  Maybe tomorrow.  Or the next day.  Oh and by the way—I just crossed one to-do off todays list and made space for the next thing.  Hmm—what will be next?  A letter perhaps, or a phone call, or check all of the above?  Has my best just gotten a little better?  I think maybe so.  Yay me and hallelujah!  I’ve come a long way, baby!

Note:  The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. (newwavesoflight.org or NWOL.us)