Today is a start-stop-stuck blog writing day, definitely not one of my more shining moments. In truth, I’m making myself crazy. It may have to do with my latest mission of trying to enhance my communication skills with spiritual guidance. I’ve had lots of practice, but apparently there is still much to be learned, because messages are garbled. Especially today.
My current assignment is to speak to my guides out loud. I’m working on it, though I must admit, it’s a strange sort feeling, one that is a whole lot different from hiding out in my head speaking in whispers. It feels weird, like emerging from a dark closet buck naked into the spotlight on the stage of an auditorium full of people. Whoa. It gives new meaning to coming out into the light.
The morning is marching on by while today’s blogs sits on stall. A myriad of thoughts pass through my head—I want to quit now, why is this so hard, what am I supposed to be writing, why isn’t it easy, I want it to be easy, where is the clarity, why am I doing this, when can I stop?
Jumbled confusion reigns in my head and expresses itself in words on my screen. It occurs to me that this muddle presents the perfect picture of what it’s like to try to sort through the myriad of voices that float around in my mind. I have just spent the last hour presiding over a plethora of unproductive thoughts. In desperation, I finally gave up and headed for the kitchen for some breakfast and a little clarity. What is the matter with me, I ask myself. Why can’t I sit down, focus, write, and finish something that I really, really want to finish?
That’s when it hit me. I’ve just wasted an hour of precious time in ego mode allowing self-doubt to stop me in my tracks. I’m too hard on myself. When I’m too hard on myself, joy goes out the window. When joy goes out the window, it takes inspiration with it. Ah. A bit of fresh air wafting in through the window of my soul, a bit of kitchen clarity to redirect my thinking back to sanity.
Well now, there you have it. The stark contrast between the screaming voice of the ego and the gentle, small Voice of the Soul.
Is there a point here, and if so, did I get it across? Maybe, maybe not. Maybe it’s not for me to judge, but rather to allow myself the luxury of learning to place my faith and trust in the wisdom and gentle guidance that comes when I am willing to apply myself to the task of listening to a Voice that knows more than I do, that unfailingly has my best interest at heart.
Note: The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. (newwavesoflight.org or NWOL.us).