There was a time when I thought it might be kind of fun to be a columnist. It was an intriguing notion, but there seemed to be just one little problem. It turns out that it was me. Imagine that!
The problem was that I had this idea that there was no way that I could ever, in my wildest dreams or imagination possibly conjure up the wherewithal, the way, the wits, determination, self-discipline, the inspiration, the creativity to crank out a column on a regular basis. Oh, the pressure! The very thought scared me to death. No sir. No column for me. I packed that thought away and slipped it into the recesses of memory along with all of my other fanciful dreams and aspirations. But that was then.
And this is now. Today, I am awake at o’dark thirty, sitting with my trusty computer on my lap cranking out a blog for the 37th day in a row, sorting through a never ending flow of words, possibilities, and ideas that compete to show up on the page.
This is a stunning turn of events. However in the world did such a thing happen, I wonder?
What have I learned between then and now? What has changed? I guess it’s me. Wait—what am I saying? Of course it’s me.
There are about 200 more words left to write before I close the computer clamshell on today’s blog. How can I answer such a profound question in so few words? How do you cram a lifetime of personal growth in a couple of hundred of words or less?
If I had to put it in a word—literally, one word—it would be listen. Or maybe three words—listen, listen, listen.
I have always known that there is a still, small, quiet Voice within that is a whole lot smarter than I am. A spirit, a soul, a guide, or whatever one may want to call it.
But like a stubborn teenager, I have rebelled and refused to listen. I have gone off on merry toots thinking that I knew what’s right, good, and best for me, until I fall flat on my face and realize that maybe I was wrong. The prodigal daughter surrenders and returns—at least for a while, until the next time. But the voice waits patiently, ever there, to forgive and embrace me as I reenter the fold and I repent, sorry to have so rudely kept this kind helper waiting for me to get over myself. Countless times, I have left the fold, made my mistakes, then returned home.
Finally, finally, I have learned the wisdom of listening to the Voice that is a whole lot smarter than I am, the Voice that tells me the Truth about me, rather than the lies I tell to myself, the Voice that says yes you can instead of the one that says no you can’t.
Somehow through my years of trial and error, of listening and not, I have crossed the bridge between then and now and finally landed here in my Lazygirl writing the 37th blog du jour. Who would have thought?
If I had it to do all over again, I would have listened more. Listened sooner. Listened to the Voice that knows a whole lot more about me than I do. I highly recommend it. It will take you to better places than you can ever imagine for yourself.
Note: The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. (newwavesoflight.org or NWOL.us).