Sorry to say that my highly anticipated woo-woo workshop click turned out to be a disappointment. Too bad I couldn’t fast forward and zoom through the frustrating parts about stuff I already know and scientific stuff that I don’t understand. Sad to say, it just wasn’t my cup of tea.
As I sat wanting to curl up in a ball and suck my thumb for comfort, I asked myself why I was feeling so bored, restless, and resentful of the amount of time and money that had been extracted from my wallet and life on an event that seemed like such a waste. Where is the benefit?
I don’t always enjoy asking myself these sorts of questions because sometimes I’m not crazy about the answers. In this situation, I unearthed impatience, anger, and an ego sense that something must be wrong with me for not being happy about doing something that I’m not happy about doing. If I continue thinking about it, I’m sure I’ll dig up more dirt later. Meanwhile, maybe I’ll put that search on my to-do list and think about it tomorrow. or the next day.
Oh, but wait. Is this the benefit? Did I get something that I didn’t sign up for? Perhaps a side order of discernment, or an opportunity to stop and think about inflight corrections that I can make while sitting in isolation wondering what to do with myself?
One thing that did stick with me is that there is a multiplicity of teaching/learning happening on many levels in a woo-woo workshop—and for that matter, maybe also in the content of these blogs. Different insights for different people, depending on a state of consciousness at any given moment in time. I may have nodded off a little here and there, but on some level, I got what I went for, even though I don’t know what it is, exactly.
Meanwhile, I wonder how much of my life is spent engaged in activities that I feel are a waste of my time? How much money do I spend on items and activities that do not feed my soul? How often do I say yes when no is a better answer? How often does impatience or anger cloud my vision of what’s beneath an appearance? Why do I believe that something is “wrong” with me for feeling anger or impatience?
Finding joy in life is an inside job. It comes from finding and honoring one’s own inner essence and living life according to the dictates of the soul rather than from the demands of the ego. Maybe it’s realizing the perfection of one’s own self, warts and all. I sat for two days in a state of boredom to remember that in the end, I am the source of my own happiness.
I get to pick and choose what I think, and how I feel about the experiences that pepper my life with rich opportunity to learn and grow and then decide what is truly important in the overall scheme of things.
Was there a benefit? All over the place. What did I gain? A lot, with some grist for the mill for today’s blog tossed in for added measure.
For some reason, I’m reminded of story about the guy who asked a waiter the question, “What’s the soup du jour?” to which the waiter replied, “It’s soup.” The daily soup of the soul offers a glorious mix of every divinely delicious ingredient available in the infinitely well supplied universal kitchen. Dive in and enjoy!
By the way, I know there is one sweet follower who does not believe that she has a soul. To you dear friend, thank you for being a faithful reader nonetheless. I love you too.
Note: The photo above is courtesy of New Waves of Light, a website designed by anonymous individuals around the world who share the intention of bringing light and love to a world of darkness and chaos. (newwavesoflight.org or NWOL.us).