So sometimes I have these little chats with myself.
“Self?” I may say. “What in the heck do you think you’re doing?”
Fortunately, mySelf is usually quite patient with my silly questions, humors me, and encourages me to find my own answers by simply ignoring the question. Well, at least I think that’s the plan. Mostly, it leaves me to my own devices to figure out what the heck I’m talking about.
The latest round of self-talk was about the many creative avoidance techniques that I use to keep myself from having to face things that I’d rather not. Maybe you know the drill. Maybe you, too, have voices in your head that clamor to be heard, voices that you try to stifle but that just won’t go away.
Mostly for me, said voices refer to issues of spirituality and personal growth. At the top of my current spiritual to-do list is, for example, is “Put Away Toys.” That would mean any activity that distracts me from engaging with my True Self, as in TV and mindless iPad games wherein I tell myself that I’m improving my mental acuity and giving my brain free reign to roam around gathering creative energy and a head of steam for something, though I know not what.
Unfortunately, television qualifies as a toy, so this no-TV edict is a whipdoozy. It’s hard. It’s a big ask, like the “Get a Dog” voice from twelve years ago that brought Charlie Chin Yoda into my life. What will fill the ginormous void left by a blank TV screen? Well ok, maybe I’ll give it a try—but I’m not making any promises.
The morning after my first TV-less night as I was whizzing down a country road at 60 mph, a sign on the side of the road grabbed my attention. It said simply, “Celebrate your success.” Well okay then. I made it through one whole night without indulging in one of my favorite avoidance addictions. Bully for me!
That was a over month ago. Still, I struggle with the what-to-do-with-myself question that looms as TV hour rolls around every night. It is like a night without a bottomless glass of wine. My hope is that this emptiness too shall pass, as it did when I finally emptied my wine glass for the very last time and recovered from wineless nights.
So I say to myself, “Self,” I say? What am I supposed to be doing with all of this blank-screen TV-less time on my hands?”
And my Self says to me, “Write your own story. Tell your own truth. Say it like it is in your world and do not concern yourself with how it is perceived. Judgment is not your job. Your job is simply to write.
Ah good old Self, good old Voice of Reason. Always there with a ready answer when and if I’m willing to put away my toys and listen.
10 thoughts on “A Night Without TV”
As a witness to your process, I applaud you in your growth.
As a witness to your progress, I salute you.
Thank you, 😊
My Aunt Julia ~ Thank you for this entry! There are CEASELESS ways we can divert ourselves from doing soul work. Good for you for being courageous to experiment with no evening tv! (Shortly after David died, so did the darn tv….turned out to be a BLESSING as THAT distraction was eliminated.) LOVE, your niece!
Spirit truly works in wondrous ways! Love you! AJ
Well said. I can always seem to find a toy! 🙂🤦♀️
Yep – they lurk in the shadows wearing horns, don’t they? 😬
dear Julia. I always have a couple of books nearby and if there is nothing worth viewing on TV I go to the books there have been some nights when I get home too late so there is no TV. Also I signed up for a lower rate with Verizon which means I don’t get MSNBC or CNN and it has been wonderful. I try not to listen to the voices in my head – I get too depressed.
Vivian dear, perhaps you are listening to the wrong Voice! Somewhere in there is a Voice that is BEAUTIFUL, just like you! Love, Julia
I like this, so happy you are back to writing!
And thanks for your note. I could have told you that you would stick,with LDI. .And I am very glad you are doing so!
I am very very sorry indeed to hear of the terrible travails of poor dear Charlie. I can only imagine the ordeal of drops and all the rigmarole….and now more internal problems. You & Charlie are both on my prayer list. ,Please keep me posted.
I have scheduled my surgery for a replacement right shoulder. I am dreading it but best to get it over with. 6 months recovery, 2 months not driving, Zounds! One foot after another is our mantra these days! love, Ginny
Ginny Daly 202.420.9550 5401 Potomac Ave NW, WDC 20016 7 Tidewater, Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971 “Anything worth doing is worth overdoing”